Husband moved out with another woman!

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Me and my husband have been together since 2003 and married in 2004. We knew each other as friends for at least a year before. I was the one who initiated everything pretty much but he also wanted the same thing. We were crazy for each other at the beginning but after living together things cooled off i guess, he stopped trying to improve the relationship... and i also let things slip away and just became a housewife while he was working. For at least a year now things became even colder when my husband would come home at late hours, 9-10pm, and seemed cranky all the time. Sometimes throughout our marriage he had some outbursts about me not really learning anything or having a job but I never thought he would not want to be with me anymore because of that. I also suffer from depression/anxiety since I was a teenager but he never understood. I've never seen a doctor for it, pretty much I try to think positive (it's not always working especially when the husband comes home late, stays on the PC and then goes to bed). I tried to explain I need him to be more supportive emotionally but his answer is that I live in a great place, I have everything I want ..that's enough and I should motivate myself etc. Anyway, a year or so ago.. I started being suspicious that something is wrong. Him always being moody and anything would set him off and he'd try to get into an argument (I was becoming even more depressed)..I tried to make him talk.. but no use. Sometimes he'd tell me he wants to be with someone like himself (self-motivated, popular, with a career) but when we got married he knew we had a huge age gap (17 yrs) and he knew I'm not a self-motivated person, he knew also that because of my family I can get negative and sometimes I can call him names even though it doesn't mean anything to me and I'm sorry If it hurts him... But a few months ago I saw a picture of him with this woman wearing the shirt I bought him. I think that's around the time when things started to really connect for me - when I confronted him he denied having anything to do with her and said just that she had someone accidentally pour a drink on her shirt and he had an extra one with him.. I just said ok... even though I was still suspicious... Things pretty much stayed almost the same after, him being pretty distant and just feeling like I'm being shut out. He kept telling me he wants to be with someone else and he's done.. That I haven't done anything since we got together and he wants someone like himself. I told him I want to do something but I need his help, I need him there for me emotionally not just paying for my food, clothes etc.. Nothing I'd say meant anything to him. I was scared... I told him he's going trough some kind of crisis because we still love each other and he can't do this... For Easter he told me again that this is it and he wants to move out. I didn't know what to do.. I asked if there's someone else because I can feel the only way he'd be like that If he had someone else. He denied. Throughout all this he was still acting with me like he usually did, holding hands, kissing etc but in private he would be closed in emotionally... I told him that I want to know - because i feel there is someone else and he needs to tell me. And he did, he said he's been talking to other women in his industry but mainly with one of them. The one in the picture I've seen. Her company moved 30 mins away from us and she rented an apartment right next to where we live. I googled her and found out she's been kissing his ass for a long time. Also my husband told me that he knew her for years but never liked her because she used to be really big and gross. But for the past year she lost weight, dressed like a slut and did anything she could to get my husband's attention. So when our relationship was weakened that was the time when she had the upper hand and pretty much I lost my husband to her...She was also married with 3 small kids that she left back to her husband when she moved close to us waiting for my husband. Also she's been playing the victim, telling my husband that she's been cheated on by her husband who slept with 100 women and right after she found out she got raped by 3 men. My husband believed everything. A few days after he tells me all this, that they've been into each other for a year, he moves out straight into her place. He was wanting to stay with me another week but I couldn't take it anymore... I was so hurt. After he left I couldn't eat almost anything, I couldn't sleep.. i was super angry and even wanting to hurt that woman. I definitely think she has mental issues too and my husband can't see it. I really want my husband back and have us fix our relationship but he tells me that he matches better with this woman even though he says that he still wants to see if they can work out and if not he'll come back..I want him back really bad right now (it's been a week since he left). Also 2 days ago he came to bring some groceries and we had sex.. I was missing him so much but that was probably not a good idea?? Since he left I was super stressed, my heart was racing and I was getting out of breath just moving around a bit. I could barely eat a few spoons of yogurt a day and water. I had never experienced such high stress and really didn't know how to cope.. I started writing negative stuff about that woman online and even messaged her but of course she didn't answer. My husband told me to stop being an asshole and calm down. I feel like he treats me like I'm a toy or a child, or stupid.. I told him he should understand why I do what I do.. His last GF cheated on him and ran away and he told me all about it and how it was like being hit by a truck. That's exactly how I felt. He still acted like he doesn't understand why I'm angry, needy and desperate.. I was thinking about suicide and I couldn't focus on anything. After I got to see him I felt way better and actually went out and even ate more food. Now I'm left alone at home with everything reminding me of him while he's with someone else having fun! Before he left I started learning something with the goal of having a career too and I was pretty excited about it. I was having my husband help me with it a bit also.. Now it's really hard to focus on anything when all I can think about is him coming back to me. I'm really afraid he won't, even though he tells me he loves me and misses me. I really know we can be happy and have an even better relationship if he comes back and acts more supportive and we both don't let our relationship go. Is it a good idea to still hope or I should just accept he's not coming back? I know how exciting is when your relationship is in the honeymoon stage, so how can he even come back? :(

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