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age
41-50,
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writes: Hello Everyone, I have wrote here before and expressed that I have trust issues with my husband. He has done things in the past to earn my distrust. Anyway he is going out of town for a week for training for work. He at first told me that I could go with. probably thinking I would say no because of the kids being in school . now he's telling me we shouldn't go because of money. Even though he has the hotel room to himself. So my question is what can I do while he is gone to ease my mind? I have anxiety attacks thinking about him being in a room by himself. I know that's not a normal marriage. But I love him so much. Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2016): Hello, Yes it is hell living like this. I'm sure it's hell for him too. We have tryed cousnelling. But the counselor actually favored him and his side. we ended up quitting because I couldn't take her doing that. she said she didn't realize she was doing that but wanted him to continue to come. And yes my mom says the same thing...if he's going to cheat it can happen anywhere. (but being alone in a hotel room makes it easier ) . I wish I could just relax and not worry about what he is doing. Maybe I need counseling for myself. I live him so much.
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female
reader, MartiJJ  +, writes (28 October 2016):
 I think we are all skirting around the real issue here, you don't believe that he will be faithful to you! That's a huge deal, wether or not he's left alone in a room is simply semantics, if he's a cheater then he will find the opportunity sooner or later and you will ultimately have to deal with the situation your so desperately trying to avoid, that he doesn't care enough for you to respect your feelings, it's painfully obvious that he's already hurt you with regards to this, by texting an escort.They say that if you love someone set them free, if they return to you, then you KNOW they love you. This feels like a case of unrequited love to me, your so in love with him your willing to put up with the fact that he blatantly abused your trust. Perhaps this is the perfect time to pack his things up and prepare the children for the changes ahead?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 October 2016):
 It must be hell living with someone you cannot trust. Apart from just showing up at the hotel am not really sure how you are going to know if he is being faithful or not. If am being honest it does sound weird why he would rather go away on his own than bring his wife along.
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (26 October 2016):
 You have good reason not to trust him, that should be no secret to him given txting escorts the last time. Personally, Id be telling him just that and to to be mindful of just who might be watching this time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, Thank you for your ideas. I wish I could hire a private investigator. But that would be costly. I really wish I could trust my husband and not have to worry about what he's doing. But 2 years ago when he went away I seen on the phone records he was texting a escort. And he is a big flirt and is always messaging girls in his game he plays on his phone. So I'm just not sure what to do. He wants me to trust him. But he doesn't really ease my mind. I love him and just keep hoping things get better with time.
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (25 October 2016):
 First check with his boss, discretely, that he is really going on a training week.
If so find the address. You could just turn up there as a 'lovely surprise'.
Or employ a private detective to see what he is up to - if anything. It might be worth the money just to know one way or the other.
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