A
female
age
,
*ouweez23
writes:My husband and I split 4 months ago after 17 years of marriage.He had a lot of jealous insecurities none of which had any basis, and he left me after accusing me of wanting to attract men online, which was a complete fantasy just going on inside his own head.I subsequently found out that he ahd been talking to a woman at work about our 'problems' who he had cheated (emotionally) with 2 years ago.Anyway to cut a long story short we decided to try again and he is currently in Counselling. He seems to be making a lot of effort to get me back and we spend virtually every night together and some nights he stays over and love making has resumed.However, when I ask him to move back in he says he still isn't sure.Can anyone explain what is going on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
I cant tell you whats going on for sure, But my last and final marriage which did not last more than 17months was not a bad one but my husband would get very jealous over no reason at all, like if I looked good when we were going out he would get mad, If I was ten minutes late home from work he wanted to know were I had been!!! (Doing alot in ten mins!!!!) really unusually daft reasons in my mind because all my mind was set on was work and family and keeping him happy. He would also say quite often that if I ever had an affair that would be it, This was said much more than the one time. After awhile my mind got to wondering why he was like this and unfortunatly the only reason I came up with was he must have been feeling guilty about something, I couldnt be 100%. I asked him after yet again been told about the affair thing if he had anything he wished to tell me concerning him and maybe another woman, With that question I only needed to look in his eyes and it was then I had my answer. He had cheated and his insecurity and strange behaviour were all his own doing. Your husband is happy at the moment with the way things are maybe because he didnt like feeling the way he was and maybe he had done something in the past to light the fire of trust issues with you. This sweetheart is only my thought on things and maybe not the real deep reason, you say he is going to counselling which is good, But love 17yrs is along time and you must feel lost to what is going on If I were you Id need to talk with someone outside family to help with these issues your facing right now so a counsellor for support for you may help give you some confidence back, Trying to work out why another is behaving in a certain way hurts your head I do hope thing improve for you very soon WITH LOTS OF LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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reader, josien  +, writes (22 January 2008):
oh mum i think your husband loves you too much and does not want to put all your years of marriage to a waste but he is still scared of the problem tha separated you. give him some time i think the counselling will help. coming back to spend nights and make love will lead to moving in for good. it is a matter of time do not force him just give him time.
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