A
male
age
51-59,
*edjpd
writes:How will I be able to bond with our new baby?Hi, We have been married for two years and our marriage has been turbulent for all of that time. The relationship has been abusive - emotional, verbal and at time physical. At regular intervals throughout the marriage I have either been asked to leave or walked out. I am constantly reminded that this is 'her' house and live under that threat - even though I have been the main provider in the past 2 years due to my wife being on maternity leave. We also have a 20 month old daughter.My wife is 37 weeks pregnant with our second child - so could give birth anytime soon.Despite attending counselling (stopped because she felt counsellor was favouring me) and also a marriage guidance course things have not improved - things are ok for a while and then my wife reverts to old ways. She is constantly moaning and despite trying to meet all her needs she is never happy.Over the weekend our troubles in our marriage blew up again.Once again I faced a barrage of abuse - she cannot let things lie - so despite trying to walk away - I was hounded until I eventually broke and told her to 'shut her hole' and go 'fuck herself'.I was then asked to leave again - so I have. Of course everything is my fault for swearing at her in front of the children.It is clear to me now that after trying counselling and marriage guidance that our marriage is never going to work - we are both unhappy and I cannot stay in an abusive relationship anymore.I decided that the time has come to end the marriage and am now going to pursue a legal separation.The situation is a mess due to the impending birth of our 2nd child and our 20 month old. I want to be the best father I can but fear I will never be able to bond with the new baby and that my wife will try to make my relationship with our daughter impossible.My priority is to protect them as much as possible.I would be grateful for any help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cry  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 sounds like shes depressed she not happy and taken it all out on you sorry to say ive been here and treated my man like that and i regret it but 3 years later we have a good relationship and things worked out with the kids.wer not together any more but its for the best i think its best you move on so this dosent esclade in front of the kids even more and if its meant to be then things will work. for the both of you some people just live in the past .........good luck
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