A
female
age
30-35,
*mily Ophelia
writes:Hey everyone =)A friend of mine has a bit of a problem and I suggested to just ask here as I've been given great advice... So here we go:She's been in a relationship with a guy for a month now and before they didn't really know each other. She says she likes him but that's about it, especially as she feels like he's more into the idea of having a girlfriend (and someone he can get sex from on a regular basis) than being with her. Oh, about the sex... she said she isn't really much into it with him, I have a feeling it isn't very fulfilling (which I think again prove my theory he's more concerned about getting his release than well other things). Also, they get along, but haven't really got anything to talk about apart from University-Politics. So, the reasonable conclusion is, as she isn't very committed to the whole concept of the relationship, is to end it. Just... how? How do you explain to a nice guy that, after rushing into a relationship, you have just realized that it isn't working? Weird question, I know, but I guess it is always a lot harder when you're the one giving advice or doing the ditching...Thx for any replies!! =)
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (7 March 2012):
Once you have had sex then the "lets still be friends" line is more of a euphamism (?? spelling, sorry!). If they were really good friends then a discussion like "the sex isn't working" would be possible. I would suggest that your friend just says that she doesn't feel like sex next time he is around. If that is all he is there for then the ensuing discussion will give your friend the opportunity to say what she wants to.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 "Robert, I have enjoyed getting to know you a bit better and I have found this last month with you to be very enlightening. Alas, one of the things I have determined is that I don't have the feelings for you that would be needed for this to last as a romantic relationship. I know this may be a bit of a surprise for you but I just don't feel this is going to work for me.
"I'm sorry but I am going to have to end the relationship. I will remain your friend if that is what you'd like but I am no longer your girlfriend. I don't enjoy doing this but I honestly don't have a choice as continuing in the relationship would be lying to you."
If it's only been a month, I expect he hasn't been looking at wedding china or bought a ring for her. Just be kind, be firm and then disengage from the conversation. She should not stick around and comfort him if he has a breakdown. Tell him, nicely but firmly, then leave. It's hard but part of life for most of us.
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