A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, thanks in advanced for taking some time to try and help me.I met this girl about a month and a half ago, i had her on facebook a while before im not sure why but i did. I'm a League of Legends player, and I saw that she had changed her cover picture to a LoL related pic. So i decided to talk to her, see if we could maybe play together in the future. We did play a couple times, she gave me her number, and we text a lot. She sends lots of pictures to show me what she was wearing on that day.We have gone out twice, once to the movies and walked around the mall for like 2 hours talking, and yesterday i went to her house and we saw like 4 episodes of Breaking Bad and i met her family.The problem is, I feel like it was all just as friends.She talks to me like she's a friend, she treats me like aim just a friend. I give her compliments every once in a while, she takes them with a "thank you" but she won't ever compliment me.She did mention once that she has been in relationships since she's 13-14 (she's now 20 and im 22, sorry i forgot to mention) and she's not looking for a relationship now.It's very confusing because she constantly does show signs of liking me, like there was this one time in which she told me: "lol i confused you with this other guy and i sent the flirt to him, now he must think i like him"i asked her what she told him and she said "nothing, nevermind." So i took that as a good sign, even though she refused to tell me.Her family has money, and her parents are those kind of people that control the life of their children, or at least used to be controling. Now she always has to ask for permission to go out, and thats a bit frustrating since she's 20 years old.I really would like to know if i should keep pursuing her or maybe move on. I REALLY like her, i think she's really beautiful and has a great personality, but she's also very conservative like her parents and I really dont know how to get her attention and get her to like me.She has a lot of guy friends, so she's used to guys telling her how beautiful she is every day. She also goes out to the movies a lot.Any more information that you need please dont hesitate to ask. Please help me get this girl to like me more than a friend!Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): Every nice thing she says you'll wonder if it's a sign. Her family thinks you're good-looking. That's nice. It's what she says "she feels" that counts. Man, there isn't much advice we can give a guy who is head over heals. You'll blow every word she says, and move she makes out of proportion.That's because you're so hot for her. She's going to tease and play with you; if you don't show some cool about all this.This is my last response. Don't read too much into everything she says. Hold back your feelings so you won't get toyed with. She may like guys to go crazy over her. Don't give that to her. It makes you look foolish.Stop acting so gaga over her. She loves the fact you're eating it up. Chill. Never let a woman play with your feelings and make you look like a silly boy. Accept the compliments as nothing but nice words. If she wants to date you and spend time with you, then you know she likes you.Stop reading her feelings through her text messages. She knows she has your attention. Now ease off a little and let her come after you. Then you'll see if this is just a tease or she really likes you. Stop relying on text messages for clues. I think it's time you man-up and ask if she is interestedin dating. I SAID DATING, NOT BEING HER BOYFRIEND. Take it one step at a time. Please stop being boyish. That might be the reason she is sending mixed messages. You're not coming across mature enough. She may only like you as a friend. I hope you're able to handle that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers. They helped a lot.
Today we were texting and she said this:
"Can you believe that my entire family thought you were gorgeous? I don't know what they saw! Lol :D"
Which i know she was just playing, but it confuses me a lot, because my last thought about her was her speaking to me like Im her bro... Hahaha.
Is this a good sign?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2013): It seems she is slowly getting to know you. You are being too eager.You indicated that she said:"she's not looking for a relationship now."She meant what she said. That doesn't mean she can't flirt or like you. It means she isn't going to form a relationship with you.It's only natural to flirt, if someone is showering you with compliments. That isn't a green-light that you want a relationship. She's flattered by the attention. Most of the guys she meets probably want to be her boyfriend.This is tough to get across to people who are attracted and single, and hot for someone. Take her seriously at her word, and you won't frustrate yourself. She has her parents looking over her shoulder. It's her call to make it anything more. It all started over being game partners. Stay on track; so you won't trip over your heart. Don't let your feelings get ahead of you.You're a young heterosexual male. It's hard to see an attractive woman as just a friend. Especially when she flirts and offers you her attention. Remember, she's not much more than a young girl; enjoying her life, and the attention she gets. She's pretty, and maybe a little spoiled. Even if people give you the advice to go for it. GO BY WHAT "SHE" SAYS. She isn't looking for a relationship.You can continue to pursue, doesn't mean you'll get what you want. She's calling the shots, and for now you're in the "friend zone." That's why you wrote this post. It's up to her to change her mind. Frustration is making you anxious; and you want more than she is ready to offer you right now.Take it easy. Her parents may have more influence over what she does than you think. She may have strained her relationship with her parents in the past over guys. It's tough raising a beautiful young daughter. Preserving her reputation, avoiding unwanted pregnancy, dodging players who'll break her heart, and keeping her safe. The hardest job, is protecting her from herself; when she is a young adult making poor choices.Let her set the pace, she knows how to get her way. She'll let you know, if you're a potential prospect, or if you're not. She has to be on the same page, in any case. If she isn't, back off. If you can't settle for being friends and an admirer for now; then just move on. You can't tell her heart what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2013): It seems like she's giving you mixed signals. You mentioned that you feel like she treats you as only a friend sometimes and other times you feel like she likes you back but she told you that she doesn't want a relationship. That's not a good sign. She might just be leading you on. Since she has many guy friends going after her and complementing her, maybe you can try to do something different that will set you apart from those other guys. Just be sweet and try to spend more time with her so that she can get to know you better too. Then try telling her how you feel after hanging out a few times. Maybe then she will see that you're one of a kind and start to have feelings for you too. Youll never know unless you tell her how you feel. Good luck!
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