A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How the hell can you tell if a bloke you meet on the internet is genuine. I have met one everything going well. Never met him yet just phone calls and text. Not worried he has a wife or girlfriend as texts me back usually when I text him but not always sometimes he is busy with work as he has a lot of travelling. Recently have offered to leave him alone as I felt I was doing his head in texting him to much so at the moment I am leaving him to for a bit. How long should I give him and should I let him contact me first. I don't know what to do I do know I really like him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): There is no real way of knowing if this guy is genuine. But then, you could meet someone in person and not know if they are being completely honest with you. That's the thing about relationships I guess...it's about trust. We can't know 100 percent what is going on with another person. That's where the trust comes in!
It sounds like things are going well between you and this guy though. I am wondering though, why do you feel that you may be texting him too much? Has he mentioned anything like that? Sometimes I have fears like that. I worry that if I contact a person too much, I may be annoying them! But is there any reason why you feel that way? Is it mainly you who initiates contact, while he doesn't bother as much?
I can understand you thinking it might be best to leave him alone, and see what happens. But he might not know that there is anything wrong. He may not know how you are feeling, and might assume you want some space. So if he doesn't contact you, you might just feel worse! I really think it might be a good idea to tell him your fears. If you DO text him too much, he will say. But I think he might be surprised by how you are feeling.
Sustaining any relationship can be difficult, but especially so over the internet. That's why I think communication is so important. So I suggest talking to him about this, and see how he responds. Best to get it out in the open, rather than worry about it! Good luck! x
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (7 February 2010):
 I have met a lot of people on the internet. You really don't know who a person really is until you meet them in person and get to know them. There are a few exceptions, but generally this is the case.
I met a man from my area, who online seemed really nice. But when we started talking on the phone, my gut told me he wasn't the man I thought he was. I took the risk and met him in person...Then I knew my gut was right! He wanted one thing and one thing only! He even stood me up on my birthday!
Fortunately, I had another online friend who spent almost the entire night online with me and truly saved my birthday! I can honestly say, it was the best birthday I ever had!
The bottom line is ya never know! It's all about taking risks! And above all, trust your gut!
Good Luck
~B~
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): I think you have to meet him in person as soon as possible. You wont be able to tell by a few meetings if hes genuine or not. Time does that. But atleast you will get a better idea of the type of person he is. You may meet and find you just dont gel...theres no spark. It happens. So the sooner you meet, the better.
As for texting. If he lives far from you and that sort of thing will be your main way of contact, it sounds as if it might for you. I get the impression you need someone that you can be close to in the physical sense. All the best
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