A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am seeing someone for the past year(my boyfriend)but yesterday I stupidly got drunk and kissed a girl nothing more than a kiss and she was cool about it said it's not a big deal and it was obvious that we are both straight cuz I felt nothing and felt like attracted to her and wanted to do it again!But I feel really guilty so How should I tell my boyfriend about this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 July 2016):
 I know that it was only a kiss, but you still cheated, it doesn't matter if it was with a girl or a boy, you still cheated on him and he deserves to know the truth. I hope that he can forgive you, but you need to just be honest with him, tell him it meant nothing to you and it was just two friends messing about. It would be much better coming from you than him finding out off someone else in the future. Maybe you should think about cutting down your alcohol intake, as it encouraged you to cheat on your partner. Also you should be prepared for him to ask you not to see this girl any more, I guess you need to ask yourself what or who is more important to you, good luck.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (23 July 2016):
 Let's just say it's almost never worth it to lie in a relationship - definitely not in this case. Sorry, OP, but I think you should take the risk and the responsibility.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (23 July 2016):
Just be honest with him, but be aware that he may not feel comfortable with you still being friends with her. You should still tell him, but accept that you may have to choose between them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't think he would ever be accepting of this,I will loose him for good over this!i just want to know if it's worth it!No of course not no sex involved at all
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (23 July 2016):
 You made a mistake - a relatively innocent one as far as drunken mistakes are concerned, since there was no touching or sex involved. Kudos to you for owning your actions and wanting to come clean.
Obviously I don't know your boyfriend or the type of relationship you have with him personality-wise, but as far as what you should do, I think it might help to imagine what you personally would do and say in this situation if you had drunkenly kissed another guy instead, since the level of transgression is the same. By that I mean gender doesn't matter - you kissed someone other than your boyfriend, period. In your shoes I would be honest with my partner about what happened, apologize, and then outline a plan as to how this sort of thing will not happen again, be that cutting back on the alcohol or cutting (back?) contact with the female friend you were tempted to kiss in the first place, or both. This way he has something measurable to show that you value the relationship and are committed to making things right.
Be patient with his response, as it may take him a while to fully trust you again to go out on your own and behave properly. But on the flip side, *don't* let him use this as an excuse to do some cheating of his own and proceed with extreme caution if he doesn't eventually let it go, i.e. continues to bring it up during disagreements about unrelated subjects. You did wrong and you know that, but again, it's a fairly minor mistake in the great scheme of things and you obviously regret it. Over time, he should be able to forgive you and move past it.
Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust a update,I have never been attracted to women or neither do I want to be with a woman,This happened and I take responsibility but I just need to know what to do after?The woman this happened with also said it was silly and there is nothing to worry about and we will always be good friends
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