A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend have been going out for 4 months and we had broken up about 2 weeks ago and we have been kinda off and on we also declared that we love eachother about 2 weeks before the break up she would ask me "love me yet" and i wouldnt say it then just because i didnt want to think i said it because she asked. we would spend all our free time together before and she even lost her good girlfriends because of it. i think i had drove her away by calling/texting her too much when she would be out having fun with her co workers and she said she felt bad she couldnt talk to me (she thinks its rude), she even started "friendly flirting" with one of her co workers friends. since then we dont talk much on the phone anymore or even see eachother very much, however when we do see eachother things are great, we kiss, hold hands, and i can still seduce her, we still have that connection when we see eachother. i think she is still talking/texting that guy she was flirting with just because were not new and exciting and we dont have as much to learn about eachother as we use to. i want still want to keep her and dont want to share her love with anyone. how should i go about this? meybe agree that we should break up? (they want what they cant have) try to go back to the way things were? give her space and keep it unexclusive? tell her i've been talking to this other girl? (not true but get her a little jelous, and tell her its fun but not the same when im with you) i dont know what to do, or even what to say on the phone with her anymore (besides what did you do today, what did you eat, blah blah boring stuff) any advice would be greatly appreciated
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 Hi,
you not telling her you loved her was probably the deal breaker for her. When you tell someone you love them and they um and errr in reply, it can be a big kick to the self confidence. This is where guy number two came in to the equation, she was probably seeking the affection and attention from him she felt was lacking from you.
At the end of the day if you love her, call her up and tell her you love her and you want you two to be an item again.. But dont play silly games like pretending you are flirting with someone else, that will only make things worse.
If you don't love her , then let her go her seperate way ( she probably will of her own volition anyway).
You don't have to tie yourself down to a committed relationship at your age, if you want to have girlfriends without all the serious stuff then you are not alone, but when the big "L" word comes out there are only two routes to follow -either say it yourself and mean it or say I'm not ready to commit myself to such a serious relationshi pat the moment.
Good luck.
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