A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I recently broke up. I stopped talking to my gf 2 weeks ago. Recently, we started talking again, as she needed her stuff out of my apt. The other night she called me up to ask me to go out to a movie. 40 minutes before the movie started. I called her back 10 minutes, and she didn't pick up, and called me back 10 minutes later. I wanted to go see the movie with her, as she said we'd just be pals. I was finishing up at the grocery store when I called her, I told her I worried that I would be late, which I was, but she said "you can get here, you live so close!" Anyway, I met her at the movie, we watched it. Then we had a big fight. It seemed like she kept trying to lead me into an argument. She interrupted me to tell me some silly thing, right at a key moment of the film. I had made a quick sandwich for her and I, and she said I wouldn't have been late if I hadn't made the sandwich. I just assumed she was joking around. Then I told her, I thought the seats were kinda weird, as we were sitting near the handicap seats. She told me you shoulda told me! It just kept going on and on until we had a big fight yelling at each other, and I decided to bail before things got really ugly. Then she called me a 18 times last night. I mainly just ignored her calls after the first few where she says I disrespected her because I wasn't paying enough attention to her when she was talking, as I did not want to talk. Really I found the movie to be sort of depressing, and was somewhat wrapped up in those thoughts, but I never said anything to upset her when she was talking. But she said, I was non-verbally not interested, which you know, maybe is true. But I couldn't really help it.Anyway, I don't know what to do. I want to get along with her, but ignoring her and not speaking seem to be the best way to go. I've been calling her today to try and talk, but she won't pick up. Any help would be appreciated.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 When she called , you ignored her and now you called and she ignored you.
You two are not in steps or synchronization.
It is like dancing and you two are out of step and stepping on each other's feet. OUCH!
You need to really listen to what she is saying. If you are wrong , just apologize and do not argue.
You owe her an apology . Text her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): You have two choices you either do not contact her for up to 60 days. she needs to miss you. you are not right for eachother and all that is happening is that you are keeping each other close by arguing. You could either do this and wait for the dust to settle or you could go and see her and end the arguement. This means you discuss truthfully what you both are feeling. Ask questions and listen to her response. To get any closure you both need to hear the other person and you cannot do this if you are in constant battle. There will be times in the disscussion where voices are raised but control yourself and your temper then she will have to mirror you. If you are both shouting you will not get anywhere and the debate becomes more of a power trip but nothing gets solved and tempatures raise.For your own sanity I would choose the latter and get your closure, diccuss exactly how you are feeling, bad and good and dont stop talking until you feel heard and have heard her. If this doesnt work you could try mediation.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, faith_believe_love  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 hi,Whats up with her or should i say the two of you?? Its clearly that your not interested with her anyomore but why you still wanna talk with her or why you still allow yourself to see her, Maybe theres some love thats left inside you and probably she feels the same way to you too. Or maybe its just for old time's sake. Whatever it is it hink it would be best for both of you to let go. Hope this helps.Take Care.
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