A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I was just wondering what's the best way to ask a married woman at work out on a date. By just asking her whether she wants to go for a drink sounds too casual and disrespectful to me - especially since I've had working relations with her for years. Should I be a little more honest with her and say that I have some feelings for her and see how she responds? Thanks for any advice (a taboo subject - I know, but it hurts to just be office acquaintances since I'm really starting to fall for her after 3.5 years). Many thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2016): My wife is a cocktail waitress in Las Vegas. She's been doing it for about 10 years. She wears a huge wedding ring, and customers ask her out and ask for her phone number all the time, usually every day. Usually the guy is alone, but sometimes a married couple asks her out. She always answers the same way: 'thank you for asking, but I'm married'. Then some guys will respond, 'That's ok because I'm married too'. Some guys will even add 'bring your husband'. Of course, the married couples are married too. Some guys and couples tip her very well to show their interest. Her final answer is always the same: 'give me your phone number and I'll ask my husband'. If they show her respect and tip her well, she will text them later. If they're arrogant or lousy tippers, they won't hear from her again. Of course, this is not about love or relationships, this is only about a good time. Lots of married men and women have sex with someone else. If you don't think it's true, you're not living in reality.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): There is a new lady in office. She is 38 and I am 26. She is really very cute and hot at the same time...rare combination but yes she is. I have been wondering how to ask her out and what subjects could I talk to her on to attract her towards me. Really confused. I am married and she is divorced but has a boyfriend. I just want to go out with her a couple of times. I know its not right but my attraction towards her is way beyond ignorable. Can someone help???
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): Tell her about your feelings and then just take it from there. If she says she's not interested, at least you get your closure and you move on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): Hi I agree that is how you ruin peoples lives, she is married she has a husband and lives will be ruined, I have been following different stories and helping with replies to other people who's worlds have been ruined by affairs,you need to read other letters before you ruin 3 lives hear, one in paticular that always make me sad and think about outcomes of affairs and all the lies that go with cheating is Mae5 on 18th September. "My Paramour used me for sex" she also replies to another woman rocked by an affair Elizabeth you can link through the pages as we do and link to other Aunties to read stories , who is in the same position, read there stories and how it effects everyone involved,read other stories about the outcome of affairs think long and hard about it, her feelings are important her husbands feelings are important and your long time feelings are important, freinds stay freinds sex changes all of that and then you lose the freindship you at least once had, her husband will be after you when he finds out, he may not be able to get over it and could do something really bad to you, her or himself is this all worth sex on the side only you can answer that but as I said through going on the site at least you eyes will be wide open
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): think of it this way if shes going to cheat on her husband for you and possibly leave him aswell,
whats stopping her from doing the same to you if a better offer comes her way...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): Hi. I'm married and would love to be asked out. Makes me think I'm still special. My husband has been taking me for granted for years - drinks too much beer and makes too many farts (some of them smelly ones!). Good for a lady's ego to be boosted every once in a while. But you need to be discreet. Give her a quick call to say you're going to drop her a casual 'no pressure' e-mail which is not work related and if she gives you permission then go for it!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): Ask her when she isn't married...simple..via con dios
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female
reader, sandra78  +, writes (14 December 2008):
If she is married.. That's usually a sign that she is taken. And if you work together, especialy for such a long period of time.. You probably shouldn't go there. There are too many women out there that are available and as a wise man once told me.. " don't shit where you eat" in a nutshell, in the long run, it will probably not work out and your job will suffer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): How do you ask this married woman on a date... YOU DON'T, she is married, she's not single. She'd have to tell her husband and I don't think he'd agree. Please leave her alone, and if you can't do that, then find another job. All you will do is embarrass yourself. You'll still have these feelings and then you'll have to see her every day and she will dislike you and try to avoid you. Some women love their husband, and find guys that try to date them very, very creepy....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): I agree with the majority of the crowd here - i other words, just don't go there. Even if you don't have any respect for the sanctity of marriage, if you really care for this woman you will not put her in an incredibly uncomfortable position by asking her out or subject the emotionally scarring experience of cheating, lying and potentially divorce.Plus, don't you deserve better? Wouldn't you rather be with a woman who is exclusively yours, rather than one who goes home to someone else? If the two of you fall in love, do you really want to have your relationship founded on the guilt and shame of breaking up her marriage? Or what if she decides in the end to go back to her husband? Wouldn't you have just set yourself up for heartbreak? I know you think you're "falling for her," but if you can do so, consider spending less time around her and try finding someone else. I know it's trite, but there are other fish in the sea.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Hmmmm... you shouldnt ask a married woman out on a date at all.
People should respect the sanctity of mariage and respect the fact that, if a woman is married, she is totally off the dating market.
I know its hard to hear this, but you need to find an available woman to fall in love with and take your mind off this crush.
Please please listen to me. As a child I saw my parents marriage be destroyed by people doing the kind of thing youre thinking of doing. I know you dont want to hurt people but by doing this you could be destroying so many peoples lives!
:) move on please!!!
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (13 December 2008):
 are you high?
What part of "Married" isn't clear to you?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Hello Casanova! A guy asked me out at work recently. I'm married and turned him down. He was very honest though - and I was very tempted. So, honesty is the best policy, I think...good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Dont. Sorry its probably what you dont want to hear but dont. Think about it if you went out on a date with her it went great she likes you more than a friend soon after you fall madly in love and she divorses (or cheats on her hubby with you) . . . would you be happy with that? Knowing your breaking the hearts of her husband? Her kids? If she has any deffenitly DONT! Parents divorce are the worst thing you could do it ruins the lives of them and there dad who wont get to see them as often enough. Do you want to be the person to brake up a family?
Go out there and find someone not just as but more amazing thats single! Theres someone out there for you, you just need to find them.
All the best xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Don't you think you already are being a bit disrespectful of her marriage even just thinking about it?
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