A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've got a friend, who shall remail nameless, who I've spoken to at least twice a week over the past year. Recently she has kept rining me, but lately she hasn't. Last Thursday I rang her, I said to her 'you've been quiet recently' and she said sorry, family problems, I cant pay all my debts. Now, she tells me that she has, so far, bought her boyfriend a laptop (!!) (even when he messed up!), cinema tickets. I dont really know what to advise from mow on
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLisel, can you repeat your answer please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe latest:
2 Thursdays ago, she rang me saying her boyfriend had dumped her, saying she was too controlling and not good in bed! This has happened before, but this time she said to me she wouldn't take him back.
I learn now that she is back with him; they've broken up and got back together more times than I've had hot dinners!
According to her, he keeps breaking his promises to see her. Either she must really love him, or very gullible! What advice do readers think I should give her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): Apart from loaning her some money, and telling her to get some financial advice there is little else that you can do. Be secure in the knowledge that you have tried to be a good friend and that you have done everything that you could do to help her. But it is really her life and her problem. She will sort it out when she HAS too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know the boyfriend myself, but he sounds quite nice, but from what she tells me, he makes promises he doesn't keep, so maybe she's trying to 'buy' his love by getting him a laptop. Apart from what you said, I don't really know what to do or say!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): From your description it sounds that your friend is allowing her boyfriend to drag her into financial worries. Don't make this an issue about him, it's her own choice. Just tell her your worried about her problems and would like her to sort out some of her finances so she can allivate some of the stress in her life. Citizen's advice bureau or any of the high street banks now offer budget and debt guidance. Tell her everyone needs to sort this out, at least once a year to be sure that they're not loosing out and making bad decisions.
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