How much space and distance should I give him? I do not want to lose him

A female age 41-50, *horty21 writes:

My boyfriend of ten years has all of the sudden starting to question our relationship and whether we should stay together. He is saying that he is unhappy and feels likes there is no hope. But he still loves me but it feels different and that he does not want to lose me in his life. He feels like we are really great friends and do enjoy the good times we have together but feels like we are going downhill. He told me that he has been trying to solve the problems but is not getting anywhere. He has never told me out front about any of these concerns; he would hint around the bush (which I never picked up) or kept it all to himself. This eventually hit a point where he could not take it anymore and everything came out. I am a very emotional person and he hates to tell stuff to me because it’s hard for him to talk to me when I get upset and tearful. He also asked me to marry him two weeks before this all happen. I always felt that our relationship was good and strong. Yes we did have some problems. What long term relationship doesn’t? I am so confused on what to do! I have realized my faults in the relationship once he pointed them out and have been trying to work on them. He wants some space and maybe have one of us move out (we have been living together for 5 years and staying with each other's house for about 4 years before we moved in with each other) and maybe go back in just being boyfriend and girlfriend. I have been trying to give him space. I really want to tell him that I love him and hug him when I see him, but I hold off for his space. How much space and distance should I give him? I do not want to lose him. He is the love of my life. Does anyone have advice on who to save this relationship and how much space to give him and for how long?

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A female reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 May 2010):

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