A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi guys, How much effort is it reasonable to expect your bf to make when you are long distance, even if only for a short time? My bf and me have been together for only a couple of months, but have been really close (spent most of our time together) for a few months before this aswell. I see him everyday/stay together every night. Now we are long distance for a month, a week of which has already passed.. However we don't seem to communicate much,and he doesn't want to visit at all, despite living only 1 hr away! I can't visit him as he refuses to tell his family about me, am I right to be annnoyed about this?Sometimes he doesn't reply to my messages, he never txts me to tell me he misses me or thinks about me, unless I initiate it, and we have only spoken on the phone once (at my insistance). With my ex's I always spoke to them pretty much every day, and recieved txts etc, which made me feel special and loved. I feel this is a bad sign, but he doesn't understand why I'm unhappy. All I want is reassurance that he cares, and isn't just interested in the physical side when we are together. This is making me very insecure and unhappy, but I really like him so should I just ride it out as we will be together again soon?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): in answer to your question,
it works both ways, sometimes a distant relationship can be great if you both trust each other,but you should also compramise about when you see each other and the travel costs, I had a relationship like this and we both agreed to see each other every other weekend, he came up I went down, so we shared the cost evenly eventually after 18 months he decided he wanted me to move near him which I did, packed my job in sold my house etc BAD MISTAKE it all went pear shaped after 3 weeks,he decided it wasnt working and he'd been having these "feelings" for 2 months before I moved so if its early days be patient you will know if this is the right guy for you!
an whether he's worth it
A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (28 March 2007):
 Hi
I don't understand why he won't tell anyone about you, I think I would be pretty annoyed about this.
You don't say why he had to spend time away, maybe he is genuinely busy. Each person needs different things in a relationship maybe he's thinking we'll be together in a couple of weeks, what difference does it make, although being an hour away is hardly long distance, I would of thought he could come back at weekends if he could.
i would definatly talk to him about this when he gets back because it's making you unhappy. Some guys though struggle to talk about their feelings but this doesn't mean he doesn't feel them.
The next 3 weeks until he comes back I would keep contact only when he texts you or calls you, and if he doesn't then wait until he does.
Have a big talk when you come back and see if there is a future for you both.
Good Luck
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