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How much does appearance affect overall attractiveness?

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Question - (15 December 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2009)
A male Canada age 36-40, *irekyll writes:

The basics are simple, I'm a little over 300 lbs(mostly fat), I'm a virgin, and I'm 25 years old.

I've been losing weight rapidly, lost 25 lbs in 2 months and continuing to lose for my own self esteem.

My question is, do girls judge a guy heavily based on his weight? I know this is kind of a stupid question, however I'd like to know as I intend to go to college next year and maybe meet a special girl.

Another is the good old question, wang size. I'm a little over 7" erect and with my big old fat gut you can barely see it. Does this make a big difference in a sexual relationship or am I concerned over nothing?

View related questions: self esteem

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A female reader, starrbaby United States +, writes (16 December 2009):

starrbaby agony auntI guess geographically it matters. I am from Georgia (southern, states)& I have to tell ya I can't remember ever dating a fit man. Both of my serious relationships (including my current) have been with fat guys. It seems like around here fat guys get more and prettier chicks than meat heads. And, the attraction is not based on personality...we seem to be physically attracted to these guys. They are also the bigger players around here. I am 5'9" and only 130 lbs (very thin) my BF is 5'8" & 260 lbs. I got with initially off looks and was scared to get serious because he seemed and looked like a total player. Anywhere we go I notice hot girls checking him out. And again, I am totally attracted to him.

As far as sex goes...my baby has a big ol' belly and his not affected his performance or our sex life in the least & he is not quiet as big as you (penis wise). In fact, our sex life is the best I have ever had. He knows a womans body and all the right things to do & his belly doesn't prevent it from being good.

So hold your head up, love yourself, read up on women, & good luck to you.

Starr

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):

people do sadly judge on first appearances in our society however a good personality and confidence within yourself normally wins us lasses over. I have dated a few people i wouldn't have looked twice at - one guy i only went on a date with because i thought "well why not, might be fun, tis only for one night" and guess what, i fell hard for him despite the fact he wasn't my normal type at all. Okay we are nolonger together but it was great while it lasted - he shall always have a special place in my heart. I wouldn't be put off by weight and they say - its not what you got, but how you use it :)

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (16 December 2009):

How girls will judge you depends on how you judge them too. If you met a 300lb girl would you date her? If the answer is yes then you can probably date any girl if you are confident, charming, sweet, fun, showered and smelling fresh etc. Women do primarily judge personality as number 1 but ofcourse for your own health you need to do something about you weight. As for sex, there are many different positions that can overcome your body size, try google "fat sex".

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):

Self confidence helps. I too am fat. Was 305 and went down to about 230 then gained 30 pounds back rapidly due to a new medication. I found that accepting that people might actually be attracted to you helps. Now that I have stopped denying people might like me, and aren't trying to scam me, I am finding myself more sexually active.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (16 December 2009):

Aunty BimBim agony auntCongratulations with the weight loss to date, continue with the getting healthy, because, hate to say it, but first impressions usually count a lot, (especially with younger people), and fat turns people off.

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A male reader, Tirekyll Canada +, writes (16 December 2009):

Tirekyll is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm not at all nervous or afraid of my virginity, nor does it really concern me. For about 8 years it pestered me beyond imagine but I've finally come to the realization and personal feeling that "sex" isn't what matters. It's about finding the girl who loves you and you love her just as much. Having a family, having a job you can be happy with and proud of. All these things I know play a major part in my life.

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