A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We’ve been married for almost 6 years and have been together for 9 years. I was really young(19) when we met. And now I’m realising that we are SO different and I know marriage is all about comprising and we do that as much as we can. But how much compromise is needed to keep a marrieage going? When do we determine we’re not happy together and it’s time to go our separate ways. Our main difference is that I am very outdoorsy: love biking walking. Hiking and anything that’s outdoor related. On the other hand my husband enjoys it much less than I do. He is very dedicated to his work and if it wasn’t for me who would spend most of his time working or watching TV. I love to spend time outdoor at least 5-6 days a week after work but for him 2-3 time is more than enough and he feels like he doesn’t get to relax and “do nothing”. He also enjoys spending time at the mall and as much as I also enjoy that I much rather spend time outside than being stuck at the mall!(yes I am the woman here but he likes shopping more than I do)Another difference is that when planning for a vacation I love to go to tropical places and enjoy the beach and the sunshine but he gets bored quickly and rather go somewhere with more culture and more things do outside. My idea vacation: Cuba. His idea vacation: China or RomeDon’t get me wrong he is very compromising and tries to so a lot of stuff I enjoy but I know he doesn’t enjoy it fully,Another difference is I LOVE spending time with our dog every minute I get and he doesn’t!! he prefers spending time alone together: e.g. going out for dinner!I love camping and he hates it!!I can go on and on…but it seems like we have so many difference and dislikes and as we get older we realize it more and more. We do love each other and we want to make it work but how much compromise do you have to do to keep a healthy marriage. Should be try spending time alone/with friends and do the stuff we enjoy with them? Is that healthy? Or we are so far apart that we should get a divorce and find someone with more interest as ourselves? I feel lost and heartbroken!
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female
reader, letloveunite  +, writes (26 June 2010):
Hey girl~
It's great that you love spending outdoors! it's healthy and a great exercise! However spending time outdoors 5-6 days per week is a lot compared to an average person. So don't take it personally if your husband doesn't want to go outside as often as you. Having uncommon things between you guys is great!! It would be so boring having common hobbies/idea between you and your husband because where's the fun in that?! You guys need to compromise a little deal. For example when you guys decide to travel..try to pick china (the place your husband would prefer to go) However spend a lot of time outdoors there! Your husband would love to go outdoors in a country where there is culture to learn such as the great wall...which is..OUTDOORS! :) Then the next vacation you guys plan to go to pack your bags for Cuba! I understand that you love the outdoors..however there are many fun activties to do indoor too! Your husband doesn't hate your dog..i'm sure he loves the dog too however he loves you more than the dog. Be grateful! some men love their dogs more than their wives! Him wanting to go to dinner with you is a sign of love. He wants to be alone with you because towards him that beats the crap out of any sort of tv show/work he has to get done. Just compromise some stuff between you guys. You're relationship has lasted nine years for a reason. Because you guys love eachother and thats the most important thing to know.
:)Gluck!!!
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