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female
,
anonymous
writes: I need to ask all the people out there who ever been dumped by the person they thought they were going to spend the rest of their life with does it really, truely get easier? I thought my partner of 6 years was considering proposing to me but instead he turned around and dumped me and now keeps saying I must accept his decision and move on. Being without him is killing me though and I now know the true meaning of the words broken hearted! He finished it a month ago because he said he didn't think we'd be right together in the long run and he doesn't think I'm his soulmate anymore but even after him hurting me so very much I still really love him and just want him back. I've always been a girl who follows her heart in everything and now he's telling me I have to ignore my heart and move on. I've been accepting every invitation to go out, am working six days a week and trying pretend I'm fine but if I stop for even a moment I get so sad because I miss him so very much. And I seem to feel worse each day not better! So I need to know guys how soon will my heart mend and what can I do to help nurse it in the mean time?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (16 May 2006):
 Give yourself a chance sweetie. You are doing all the right things, accepting invites and not moping....one day you will wake up and realise that you haven't dreamt about him, then one day you will do 24hours without THINKING about him....
It is like a bereavement breaking up after all that time. But it feels bad because you KNOW he is out there still. It will get easier, I know it is a cliche but it honestly and truely does.
I send you big hugs and hope you have the strength to cope.
xxx
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 May 2006):
 Poor you, that really sucks! I've experienced similar (well, a failed marriage) and it took me a year to really get over it.
Perhaps you can spend time thinking about what you learned from the relationship? These are the things positive things you can take from it into your future.
Spend some time getting to know yourself again. After 6 years in a relationship, your behaviour and personality will have merged a lot with your partner. Take some time to un-pick the knots and find out who you are, alone, making all your own choices. You may find that after 6 years you have changed a lot. I recommend taking the time to do this before you throw yourself into another relationship. A rebound fling can be fun, but they often cause more problems than they solve.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): Firstly - i'm sorry to hear about your situation and that you are heart broken - it's something that I think most people will experience at least once or twice in their lives. I know I have, and it hurts, real bad, so I can completely understand. Its been 7 months since I split with my ex, following her finding someone else, and its fair to say i still think about her occasionally, and that gets me down. I am also pleased to say however that time has healed, and when I think about her now, having focused on the negative aspects of our relationship for so long, I can see the relationship wouldnt have worked in the long term.
Ok here's the remedy (wont cure you completely but helps) 1. join a gym - and exercise - its proven to alleviate depression and lifts your mood. 2. Carry on with your social life - sounds like you have this covered. 3. Concentrate on the negative aspects of the relationship - are you seeing it through rose tinted glasses? Write down all the crap you had to deal with and read it over and over.
4. Make a change - a BIG one, it could be anything, job, where you live, travelling etc. Use the opportunity to exploit your freedom from the relationship before you (inevitably) will be back in the saddle with someone else.
I wish you luck!
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