A
female
age
30-35,
*indaloo
writes:I'm dating a guy who is 7 yrs older than I am which is fine as I really like him, however I'm the younger one at aged 22 years. We haven't spoken about our past yet with regards to my past boyfriends.I had a really bad time with my first boyfriend who I lost my virginity to. Do I tell him that I have had a bad experience in the past? If so when should I tell him? Also I have a health problem when do I tell him about this? I don't want to bore him but I feel like he should know about both things. The sex especially as that has had a big impact on me in general. My health is that I suffer with jaw pain so I guess he will need to know as I attend appointments for scans. Any advice or suggestions? Also how long should you wait until you have sex with a new partner? Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2015): Take your time. Wait longer then you think you should. Get to know the person and the soul first.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 September 2015):
 You wait till you are comfortable with the idea of having sex. Leave the past in the past, this in a new guy, new experiences - don't hold this new fella responsible for what some ex did. Telling him that you are fairly inexperienced about sex and when you two are ready for it, ask him to go slow and be gentle. A decent fella will.
As for your health issues, yes you can mention them, it's nothing to hide. Doesn't mean he needs to know your entire medical history. Just that you are having appointments for your jaw.
Take your time getting to know him. His age doesn't mean that you have to hurry to the sex part.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (25 September 2015):
 You should not say anything to your BF. Past is past and let it stay there. You will gain nothing by telling him and you risk exposing information that he may find compromising and potentially harmful for your relationship. Instead, use your past as a learning to know what not to do in this new one, and what to do more of. So focus on the future and if your health situation is part of that future then share that information.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 September 2015):
 I don't know what the bad experience is but I guess it's something like he's impatient and he demanded blow jobs. Sex was painful but he didn't slow things down or did enough foreplay. If you want to wait you can take your time and make sure he loves you and is devoted to you. If this new partner is a gentleman unlike your ex, he would be understanding and compassionate. You won't feel judged by him because he would love you just the way you are.
I prefer that you just say you are inexperienced and not too confident. Usually men feel that unpleasant experiences with exes are hard to swallow. they don't want to hear about them.
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