A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How long does it usually take to move on from a relationship?A little background,was seeing a guy for 2 years,was very intense,everything was good,had sex 3 times a week.Then we ended on a weird note ,just things got hectic in life,he new job ,no time so on. This was 3 months ago now.We still talk a little each day, i see him maybe once a week if i find time to go to his new work place.Nothing physical just good frends now,we both understand that,although we still do flirt here and there.I do have a major physical attraction to him,but i also know it would never work.So last time i seen him,i thought i fealt i was finally over any real relationship,physical aspects of him.So this weekend met up with old friends went out had a great time,hooked up with a old b/f.He is a great guy,good looking ,funny so on,but yet when i thought i could ,i ended up feeling so uncomfortable,and started to feel guilty i was with someone else.Im confused,because i feel like i am over it all,but yet these emotions were very strong i couldnt sleep with the new guy because of it.Never had this happen before,i am not one to completly let myself fall for a guy,been hurt alot in the past,i cant even say i love you usually to anyone i date,but yet i date guys 2-8 year relationships.So why do i feel so guilty?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): No wonder you feel guilty - you are still in contact with him and there's a part of you which is still very attached. It will be very difficult for you to move on unless you stop talking to him (every day is too much to speak to an ex). Before we can truly become friends with an ex, we have to have some time way from them - a complete break. Otherwise you will never heal and come to terms with the breakup. I know it will be hard, but it really is the right thing to do. Have some time to yourself, keep busy, stop talking to him and visiting his work place. You need to have an 'open heart' before you can develop another relationship, and this will only come once you have seperated yourself from yous ex (for a while, at least). Best of luck X
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (17 September 2007):
No two brealups are the same. For most people it is like a death. The loss fades over time. Focusing your mind on different things can help. Ypou don't need to immmediately sleep with a new guy. Wait until you really want to.
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