A
male
age
36-40,
*ayson
writes:I was going out with this girl for a few months and we had broken up when I left the country and got back together when I got back a few weeks later. There was some miscommunication there, wherein I thought that when I left the country again (for 4 months this time) we would still be together all that time and get back together when I come back (mainly for her), but she had thought differently. I stayed extremely faithful and we would talk every second day. She went on holiday and slept with a guy, more than once, and had feelings for him. I only find out about this a week before I get back to see her, and it all blows up. All this time she was acting as if she had feelings for me, even while she was on holiday. When I return, she said too much has changed and she completely blanked me, even AFTER i forgave her. The problem is I cannot get the image out of my head of her with this man, even a month later. Is this long enough or does it usually take longer?? Is there any set way to get over this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): I found out my bf cheated on me about 7 weeks ago. We'd been together 2.5 years; he met some girl at a bar one weekend when we were both away (he was away for the weekend, i was on holiday in china for 2 months), and he slept with her. I found out when I saw an email he'd send to a friend, asking for advice.It's been nearly two months, and I still have nightmares about it. I broke up w/ my bf b/c he told me it had raised all these questions in his mind about where we were headed, and I felt like, after two and a half years, if he's still got so many questions, he just doesn't love me enough. I started work in another city, half-way across the country from him, but I think of him constantly and every day wish he would call saying he was an idiot and begging me to forgive him. Sorry, but if you're only at a month out, I think you've got a while before you stop seeing these images in your head.
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