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How long does it take to find someone new after a breakup?

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Question - (3 June 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 June 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm in my 20's and just ended a long term relationship with my live in boyfriend. I'm so heart broken. He was my first love.

Will I ever find love again?

How long does it usually take to find someone new?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011):

It really depends on the individual but if you have been really upset by a break up it can take a little while.

OK, I would say 3 months MINIMUM. Thats how long I would be single for at least. But to be honest it does take a little longer than that to 'move on' or get over it. For me when I have been really heartbroken it has taken 6 months at least. It depends on what type of person you are. Me, I fall in love quite easily and fall apart when relationships end but then once I am over it, i'm like 'What did I ever see in him?!!'

If you give yourself some 'time out' to get over it, you are more likely to have a healthy relationship next time and not rebound. Rebound relationshipe are an absoluite nightmare and believe me, I am speaking from experience!

The last time I was single (not now) it lasted two years. I hated every second of it it but it did me good, I had things I needed to work on. And when i finally met somone, it came as a nice surprise as I had not expected it.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Inspiration! United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2011):

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss of relationship; and I hope you find someone good for you soon.

There is no set time as to how long it should take you to recover from a relationship, as everyone is different.

Equally, don't feel pressured into findng love again - because what you feel is new love, may be just a rebound from your previous relationship, which will be so unfair on your new partner.

So what I'm basically saying is to go out, have fun, and enjoy

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (3 June 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntWell there is no set time to find someone new. Everybody is different. But really at the moment you should not be thinking about someone else instead you need to give yourself time to accept the break up and heal your heart. Believe me you cannot cover up your feelings by rushing out and finding a new partner it doesn't work like that.

Instead just come to terms with single life for the moment and try and enjoy yourself. Allow friends to comfort you when you are feeling down but most of all make the most out of life. Join clubs, pick up activities anything that makes you enjoy yourself and I guess when you are feeling happy and independent in life well then you are ready to look for another partner.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (3 June 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI'm sorry for your loss.

The pain of losing a relationship is horrible and all-encompassing. But each day slowly gets a little better...

you will love again if you want to.

how long it takes to find someone, well that will depend.

Personally I think you need to take some time to heal alone... do not careen into a rebound relationship to assuage your loneliness....

It takes different amounts of time for different people. It once took me nearly a year before I felt ready to date again after an intense break up... other times, I was dating almost right away...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011):

It can take any time between tomorrow and forever. A lot of it is up to circumstances, but even more is dependent on how fast your heart can heal, and how soon you are ready to open yourself up again and take another chance at love, involving all the same risks.

You'll find love again.

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A female reader, Bee Rose United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2011):

Bee Rose agony auntHey hun,

You can't begin to look for love straight after a serious relationship, take time out for your self get to know your self again with out a man.

If you go out looking for love you will not find it, if you stop and take a breather from it, then who knows right?

No one knows what the future holds and it's true what they say you never get over your first love.

But life goes on hun, and you learn to accept what you can't have, so first accept the situation, then build yourself up again and take on the world.

Just don't go looking for it, not yet, when you're ready.

Hope I helped :)) xx

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