A
female
age
41-50,
*arahss
writes:I am married and working with a married guy who shows some interests in me and I strongly believe that even worse than that he should be a player. I guess I gave him the wrong impression with being friendly. I do not want to have anything with this guy, that's why I started to cut being friendly and just limit the talks in professional and work related. There was actually never any personal talks and in my work place everybody jokes a lot with each other and laugh. The issue is that we are all working in a cubicle setting and all the people are working closely. We are just a few people and he is the only guy at the office and I am the only young girl. I don't know how to handle this problem to control this guy. It occurred to me today that I talk with my husband about this problem and ask him for advice and support. My husband and I love each other and have a happy marriage and good sex life. My only concern is that my husband is a very traditional guy and I really don't know how he might act towards the whole issue. What do you think? should I tell the issue to my hubby? Also any advice on how to handle this guy would be really appreciated.
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female
reader, Sarahss +, writes (6 July 2013):
Sarahss is verified as being by the original poster of the question Dear So Very Confused,The truth is that I have been guilty of starting to have some feelings towards this guy. I did not know what was happening to me, until I started to have sexual feelings towards him. the whole time, no words indicating any of this has been said nor any act, but I think the guy had understood it, at least I am sure that he was feeling the sexual tension. Thanks God, when I got to that point, I came to my senses and shifted all the excitement towards my hubby. We started to have sex almost every night, instead of once/twice per week. I could see my hubby not only had the good physics the same as that guy, also has a huge love for me and adores me. what else in this world I should ask for in a man? I already have them all in my husband. I analyzed myself and I can say that even if I were single, I would have not dated this guy, as I don't like his personality. my understanding is that the feelings were just sexual and hormones affecting me.If I were not this close at work to him and seeing him everyday for 8 hours, I would have passed this crises in a second. I do not want to fall in his trap. I need to get help to keep avoiding him as he waits for my weakness moment. I had avoided him once before and for a few months I had the least contact with him. Then gradually, I felt safe and became normal and friendly with him and there he gradually got me and this time even went further and as I mentioned in above I got sexual feelings too. I guess if I tell this to my hubby, I can never fall in the guy's trap as my hubby would smell something is wrong, so this helps to keep me safe. He can also give me good and practical advices. On the other hand, I am concerned that, knowing how traditional he is, how he would react? he would know that his wife was guilty of having feelings as well, wouldn't he? ( the same as you when you realized that I was not telling you the whole story and something was missing) How would he feel about it? And one more important thing, I don't want sourness in my marriage happen at this time as it can lead me towards this guy. I need all the support I can get. Please don't be harsh on me for the stupid feelings I had. I have already beaten up myself for that. I really appreciate your advice and support. Thanks!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 July 2013):
 Has this guy made a pass at you?
what makes you so uncomfortable?
I have lots of male friends and I flirt and joke and tease with them but they know full well I'm married NOT cheating.
what is it that's actually the problem here?
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