A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My question is really very simple and strictly addressed to all the guys out there...How exactly can you ask a guy out?? I mean talking specifics. What scares them, what encourages them. What do you want to hear from a girl when they take the initiative, what seems desperate, what attracts you or enchants you? Lines that put you off immediately, lines that will get you to want to know more about that girl...All info greatly appreciated! Thxs. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): Relationships are always initiated by the men because it is men's nature to want to take posession of something/someone he desires. You are a woman. You are not suppose to play the active role. This will always end up being counterproductive for you. Taking the initiative makes you look desperate or you give men an impression of a control freak. Don't ask a guy out. You are a female. You are born with charm. Feminine charm is what attracts men to women in the first place & what will make them WANT YOU. Men will be captured by your feminine charm in how you carry yourself, how you walk, talk, laugh, smile, wear your hair, the skirts or dresses you wear & your vulnerability. Being feminine is suppose to be natural for you. If you can't be feminine, you can't charm a man into desiring you. And that is what I believe is the problem. Young women these days have lost the ability to be charmingly feminine. So girl, asking guys out is so unfeminine. That's his job. Your job is to turn on your innate feminine charm which nature has blessed you with so that it will give him the desire to want you enough to ask you out.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (28 January 2013):
Are you in a specific situation and want advice? If so more info on your relationship to each other may help.
Overall I'd say as a man to a woman, avoid pick up lines like the plague. It's kind of weird when a woman does something like that. The exception would be if she does it in a joking way; that could help break the ice.
What I'd recommend is to talk first, about whatever human beings talk about, to get a sense of whether or not he's into you. If, after a brief conversation, even about the weather, he shows interest, then you can simply ask him to go have a drink/coffee/etc with you.
When people start asking for tips about these kind of things I tend to think that they are over thinking things and in this case, it's really simple. The exception would be if you're particularly shy and initiating a conversation with someone you like but don't know is hard for you to do without a gameplan.
In that case a pick up line may be appropriate, but it should still feel natural. Complimenting someones' clothes is an easy way to get your foot in the door.
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