A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How many times should you sleep with someone before you know it is the real deal and not casual sex? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 I don't think it has anything to do with the number of times. You can have no sex at all and be in love. Or you can have sex 100 times and it's still no more than friendship with benefits.What's important is the relationship and the commitment. Don't ask me to define those things. It's things like, whether the other person does things for you that aren't sex related. Whether they call you, how often, and when. How they look at you. What they say to you. How they behave to you. Whether they enjoy doing things with you. Whether you're in their circle of friends (or vice versa). And lots more.
A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Hi hun
Tough question to answer here with no cut and dry answers. I am a little old school in that I have found from personal and sometimes painful experience that if you build the good times, trust and communication before you sleep with someone you a)find out if YOU really want to take it to the next step. YOU are empowered. b) things progess naturally and you just KNOW...both of you. You do not have to ask.
The simple reality is that there are people out there who are worthy of your trust and who you can entrust and there are people who you cannot. We live in an age of instant gratification and people either have forgotten or just do not know how to slow down and get to know another person.
I can tell you that I have rushed things before and it has not worked..at least not on a level that made me happy. So I would say, just take things slowly and build slowly. It is better and you will know.
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