A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What is a healthy sex life? My wife and I have been married for 17 years. I love her dearly and desire her greatly. However, she has little or no sex drive. We have sex on average about once every 5-7 weeks. We have sex less than 10 X a year. I have tried talking to her and even suggested counseling? Does anybody have any suggestions?
View related questions:
sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLet me expand on the information-She has been on and off again as far as desire is concerned since we have been married. Shortly after the birth of our first child, her libido really dropped off and I was actually surprised when we got pregnant with our second. I'm not naive either, they are my children and she is not cheating on me. I have a high stress job working around 60-70 hours per week and do most of the chores around the house. She has a somewhat stressful job as well working about 45-50 hours a week but we spend our weekends together as well ass our evenings. We have 2 teenage boys and are looking at eh next 5 years as being back on our own again at which point both of our children will be in college. My life is hers to do with as she pleases. I'm not a doormat, but I have had 2 horrible incidents which I died on the way to the hospital as well as a heart attack which I almost didn't make it then either. She has stood by me through it all and my life will be lived with her no matter what. SHe has been to a gyno who has no suggestions other than to say that everything seems normal. So, with that information in mind, I am open to suggestions.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): I have been married for over 25 years and my sex life is very much affected by my career. I have a high pressure job and when things get hectic, sex doesnt feature in my life.... however, when work is going well and the stress levels are low, then sex is around 4 - 5 times a week.
5 - 7 weeks is quite extreme and I suggest that your wife go and have herself checked out by her gynae, if alls well there, then perhaps talk to her about spicing up your sex life - get some toys, or watch porn together.
Alternatively, a counsellor, because then alls not well in your marriage and she might be having issues with something that is affecting her wanting to please you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): A healthy sex life, side from one without diseases, is one where the both of you satisfy each other's love and desires fully. Very few couples match up perfectly at all times with regard to timing in the bedroom, but I would say 5-7 weeks is extreme. I was in a 20 year relationship that averaged once a week. I am an every other day kinda guy, so obviously, it wasn't perfectly matched, but we made it work for 20 years. The partner I'm with now needs it daily (sometimes, many, many times a day), and while she wears me out sometimes, I love it.Point being, people vary greatly in their drives. Stress is usually the cuplrit for a diminished libido, and you have to both get to the bottom of it to improve your relationship. She needs to understand you are not completely happy. That being the case, you both indeed need to go to a sex therapist or marriage counselor. If she refuses, she's refusing to make you completely happy...and that is not a loving partner. Just remember that. Life is to short to stay with someone who doesn't make your toes curl...in AND out of bed.
...............................
|
