A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you break it off with someone who has been very nice and seems very keen but is maybe a bit too full on after 2 dates?What words would you use to not hurt their feelings? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2019): "I enjoyed our dates, but I think we are two very different people, I think you are great but I unfortunately don't see a future together and I don't want to lead you on when I"m sure you have many men waiting in line to get a date with you who might be a better match than me!"
A
male
reader, Pepi let pew  +, writes (11 April 2019):
 I really enjoyed your company. You have a great personality and your a beautiful woman. However i feel this is all moveing to quickly with out me feeling the same way. I dont want to waste your time or mine and i want you to find the right person for you. Thankyou for our date and goodluck finding the right man for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2019): When someone fancies you there is no easy way to reject them; but you can be polite and considerate about it.
Use your own version of this suggestion; but I prefer the honest approach with people.
"I've decided that this isn't exactly what I'm looking for right-now. You're really sweet, and I actually enjoyed spending time with you. I guess this ends here. I don't like to lead people on. I'm sure you understand!"
By phone is fine. Not by text message, or sudden silence. Treat him as you would want to be treated.
You're dealing with another adult. You have to make yourself clear; so there is no room for argument, or any reason for him to continue romantic-pursuit, or "be friends." Please don't suggest friends, or accept the offer. Then you'll leave an opening you can't close.
You're not playing hard to get! You're not interested, and sometimes just a few simple words don't penetrate. Men have egos, and look for loopholes to save face. Even us nice-guys! The right choice of words; and we respectfully get the message.
Sorry, you're in such a position. You gave it a go!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 April 2019):
 I wanted to add IF you are the guy who posted the other question about the Vegan lady, then maybe you could say - "I just feel we are too different in so many areas."
Because that is NOT a negative way to end things and it doesn't REALLY require further explanation.
I think the SHORTER the conversation is, the BETTER.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 April 2019):
I would tell the person that you have enjoyed their company but don't feel the chemistry is there. Then wish the person well and CUT all contact.
YOU DO NOT OWE a LONG winded explanation.
If they want more details, I'd just say "I don't think there is a point to that" and then be firm and get off the phone.
But I do think it is WAY better to say something (like I mentioned above) instead of just ghosting them.
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