A
female
age
30-35,
*nknownGirl
writes:I'm love with my teacher, and I plan on telling her. No one can change my mind on this. It'll be saved until after I graduate, but what's the best way to tell her? In person? A note? An email? Any advice is welcome. Thanks.
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female
reader, lovesickk999  +, writes (16 May 2013):
OMGGGGGI emailed my teacher telling her that 'i thought about her continuously' and 'cant get her off my mind' and i do REGRET it, a part of me any way. She knows how i feel about her but she doesn't act the same towards me anymore. We used to joke around and talk and now she doesn't let me be or stay in the same room as her. I hate it. i did apologise to her and now i hardly speak to her anymore, im too conscious. Before she was the only teacher i could be comfortable with, be myself, express myself freely and now ive created a barrier. We are quite similar, she said so herself but i don't know....i part of me i thought foolishly believed she would reciprocate the feelings and we would start this live affair, godd i really do live in a fantasy world!!!!but... The good thing is that its my last year, and i shan't see her again, ill miss her. I just hope she will miss me to, even an atom measure i wont mind..
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): (late reply, you've probably sorted things out by now, but hey :P)I have the same problem, but I never thought about it from the teachers perspective I guess. After reading the second reply down from the top, I couldn't ever even consider telling this teacher I love her because I would never want her to feel like she has done something wrong! Before reading that comment I was seriously considering telling her, but now I won't because if she got fired I couldn't live with myself.I think that the best thing to do it to tell her that you admire her so much and you look up to her as somebody inspirational and somebody who in your eyes can never do anything wrong. I think then she might get the message that you think of her as more than a teacher, but not in a creepy over the top way, which any situation like this threatens to turn into.I'm in love with one of my teachers. I deliberately walk past her room just to see if I can bump into her, and I took all the classes she teaches just to see her. I can't believe how amazing she is and I just love her so much. I don't know how I am going to get over her but I guess I'll have to try :'(
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (24 February 2010):
 Ok, thanks for the follow up. As Laura said, I'm sure there's no harm saying it after you graduate. As long as you respect her and realise the position you put her in, and realise that there may not be any feeling on her side. You need to say this, OK, I understand. After graduation is best, it gets difficult if she has to teach you next day. Relationships between students and teachers are forbidden, and due to this, teachers jobs may be at risk. Telling her you admire her will probably brighten up her day and make her smile. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): As a person who works in a field where patients fall in love with me all the time, I must say it is completely annoying and draining when dealing with one. You have to always appear caring and inspiring to be good at what you do but every once in a while it backfires by sending the wrong message to someone when this was not your intention. Normally when it happens to me, I tell my supervisor (in your case she probably tells the principal or head teacher) to try protect myself from a possible lawsuit if the lovesick person decides to falsely sue for something because they didn't get the attention they wanted. The biggest fear is when they threaten to commit suicide. One of my colleagues quit his job because his patient tried to kill herself despite him having told her as gently as possible that he is flattered but could not take this forward. I am just trying to give you the picture behind your teacher's life on these issues. She will never do aything with you; there isn't even a 1% chance. The other risk for teachers (let's just pretend that she did actually love you too) is that she can have a lawsuit from your parents and from the school for sexual misconduct. Even if you are leaving, the lawsuit can claim that while you were attending school, she was grooming you for sex. By the time you get through court even if she is exonerated, her reputation will be in tatters, she won't be allowed to ever teach again (no school would take a person accused of sexual misconduct because the parents will picket) and the other teachers at your former school will be under strict observation. Yes Miamine was a little too tough on you but she did speak the truth. Tell her all you like, but as soon as she leaves the room, she will write a detailed report on the incident which will be sent to the Principal and the school Psychologist for filing in case of future problems.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 It is best to tell it in person. Teachers today are trained to handle such incidents . It is no harm trying when you graduate.
Wait until you come to the bridge and then you can decide if you want to cross it or not.
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A
female
reader, UnknownGirl +, writes (24 February 2010):
UnknownGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOf course I think about her feelings. She means everything to me at this point in my life. And isn't everyone entitled to their feelings, desn't everyone have a right? Because this is what we've been taught all of life. You've never needed to say something? You've never worried about regretting something by never saying it? I know it's an inappropriate thing to do, but I would totally regret not doing so. I obviously care about her feelings, I just need her to know. I just... I do. And yes, I know she has other worries and things going on in her life. I know money is damn important to most people. It's not like I expect anything back from her. I just can't keep it inside of me for the rest of my life, ya know? I understand it's wrong. But I can't help it. I'm sure you've felt just as passsionate about something that wasn't exactly right. It's hard to deal with.
I just hope you can understand where I'm coming from, and I hope you don't think I'm some selfish girl that only cares about herself. Because I'm the complete opposite. Even in this situation, if I knew it would somehow crush her or anger her by knowing that I had feelings for her, I wouldn't tell her to spare her the pain. It's just she's all I care about, and I just want her to now how much I admire her. That's all...
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (23 February 2010):
 i'm pleased you found my story helpful. feel free to message me if you want! :)
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 February 2010):
Teachers are absolutely terrified about teenagers and their love. If not handled appropriately they can leave their job and never be allowed to work with kids again. Sure send a note, you'll be graduated and gone. Telling her you love her dosen't sound like a student-teacher relationship to me. Sorry I can't tell you what you want to hear, sorry I can't say yep, it's a fantastic idea. But you did tell me I wasn't allowed to tell you not to do it. I just thought you might take the time to think about your teacher and what would actually make her happy.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 February 2010):
As I said, you love your teacher, but why dose she have to know. You have your feelings, but she also has hers. This is how a lot of adult workers feel. You may not like it, but that's the truth. She dosen't think about you and your love, she thinks about whether you can pass exams, she worries about the bills.
You may think that as a teenager your entitled to your feelings, you may feel you have a RIGHT, to bother this adult woman because your in love. But what about her feelings, what about what she wants. Is that your idea of love, not even thinking about what the other person might feel. Strange type of love that is.
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female
reader, UnknownGirl +, writes (23 February 2010):
UnknownGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys. Especially xxscorpioxx. Your story was great to read and I appreciate the advice.
Except for Miamine. That was really just bitchy of you to say. I know she owes me nothing. And how do you know if I'm in love or not? Just because I'm a teenager? That sure is some great justification you've got there. Plus I don't hit on her. We have a fine teacher/student relationship ok? You are one of the few people I would consider a miserable bitch honestly. You don't know me or my feelings, all I wanted was some advice, not a reaming. And if people don't want to be teachers for that purpose alone, they're obviously not meant for teaching. Really, they're not.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 February 2010):
You love your teacher, that's your problem. Why the hell dose she have to hear. This is a woman at work, your someone she's paid to teach. She dosen't want your love, she wants her pay packet at the end of the month. Poor teacher, keeps getting hit on by stupid kids who think their in love and think that the teacher owes them something.
This is why so many adults refuse to become teachers. Too much hassle, trying to do your work and having to put up with tons of silly teenagers who get a crush and think that you have to hear about it. This woman's at work, she has a lover, a life and her bills to think about. Why don't you leave her alone, she's got papers to mark and lesson plans to sort out for the next day.
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (23 February 2010):
last year i told my teacher that i loved her when i was leaving school at the end of yr11. well it came out as "i have feelings for you..." but i told her in person. i think she'll respect you more if you tell her in person however a note would be a good back up plan. (i also wrote one that i would've given her)she took it well but said that we couldn't be together but she was very flattered. if you do tell her in person make sure its at a time where no one will come walking in....when i confessed another teacher came in after so we had to cut the conversation really short ¬_¬...sadly i've not heard from her again and shes left now so i can't go back and see her. :( anyways i wouldn't recommend telling her if shes married or in a relationship....http://www.dearcupid.org/question/too-young.html ---this is my question which i posted last year which is a lot like yours and it may help. Good Luck! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): What, do you think she will say; let's run away together? She will most likely tell you you need help dear. Sorry but the picture you have in your mind is not going to be the one that will happen. If you do it, rather send a note to avoid being humiliated with the rejection.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (23 February 2010):
 First of all, you should tell your teacher in person and probably ask her out instead of say you love her. You would be coming on too strong.
Make sure you are 18 please
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