A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Friends,I am a 30 year old indian lady living in Europe and married to a German man. I havenot got the courage yet to say the truth to my Parents that i am married. How can i say I told them 1.5 years back about my love when they came to europe. Since then only quarrels over phone stating caste,religion, continent differences etc. They seem not to understand at any time and we decided to register the marriage. Now marriage is registered but still ihavenot gotncourage to say them... They contact all my friends, say about me and ask them to convince me to come back India. all my friends support my parents and none seem to respect my decision about my life. Tierd of blackmails from my parents that they will commit suicide etc etc....i am soon getting annoyed even for simple matters.. Dont know how to calm myself. Can someone suggest me what i can do with my parents? My parents are from an Indian village in Tamilnadu. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (3 December 2012):
just tell them, remind them of him and say you are still together and see how that goes before expanding on it and getting to the point, good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012): Human beings have an remarkable capacity to adjust to reality. I think you should start with telling them the truth.
I'm a product of an inter-racial marriage myself and while I've experienced family members on both sides treating me a little less than "family-like", most of them come around to accept my parent's decision after a decade or so. The one's that haven't, I'm not missing.
I know family is complicated, stressful, and emotional, but I suspect the liberation you'll feel of not lying anymore to them will out-weigh any anxiety you have now about their reactions.
You're 30 years old. You should start acting like it.
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A
female
reader, sweetthing  +, writes (1 December 2012):
You need to tell them over the phone. Longer you prolong this, the longer things will get worse. They will accept, maybe disown you for a year but will come back.If you don't, they will get more shamed because they are probably trying to get a rishta for you
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