A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i will jump straight in. I am autistic which is great, use to as a child find it a curse but as an adult truly get to see the beauty of the world. what i mean by this is i could be walking in the forest and i could stop and hug a tree or even lick it no joke have you ever tired licking trees :) i suppose i can laugh about it esp seeing my friends expression.moving on i have dated in the pass but i was never really been myself, always afraid which was wrong really as i somehow always found myself in situation i did not want to be in. That wasn't the guys fault either as i never told them i was autistic so my question is:how do i tell a guy i have asd i mean if i tell them straight up they just see that and not see me and if i don;t tell them then it seems i have duped them in some way and robbed of the decision of going out with me in the first place second question: would guys actually go out with girls who have asd, i mean it can be full on at times between me going hot and cold not hearing from me days or have my parents breathing down their necks because you be never good enough for their daughter. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dreadawn  +, writes (6 November 2017):
I do not think you should tell him on the first date...wait and see if it is going to go somewhere. My hubby has Asd-he just found out-when I met him one of the reasons he stood out from other men was that he was different; we started out as friends then it grew into more I love his awkwardness! he has an amazing memory for numbers and statistics. He remembers the details! I would just be yourself and let things happen naturally!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2017): Yes, OP. You need to tell them you have autism on your very first date. Otherwise, you are misleading them, seemingly for your own gain or agenda. Don't agree with Tyler. Signed mom of a son with autism.
I never hide it. I tell everyone I meet right away. It also serves as a great opportunity to educate others about autism and promote much needed awareness. You'd be surprised at how supportive and non judgemental others can be. It takes courage to tell the truth. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2017): Just tell the truth. It always sets you free.
The ones who are keepers will stick around. The others won't.
That's a good way to weed out those who are not worth your time and effort.
My 12 yr old son has autism. He is non verbal. But he always manages to light up a room just by being who he IS.
Never be afraid to be yourself. Celebrate your own uniqueness.
Those who matter will love you for all that you are and are not. None of is perfect nor should we ever have to be.
Hugs. :)
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A
male
reader, TylerSage  +, writes (3 November 2017):
 I don't think telling people on the very fist date is the best approach. Give the person sometime to get to know you first, even just for a bit. I'm sure you're much more than your autism. Then maybe on the 2nd or 3rd date you can bring it up. That way, they can determine if they like you enough to look past it or not. People can sometimes be very shallow in the dating scene. It's like going on a job interview and telling the employer that you're a kleptomaniac, but you're been trying really hard to work on it. At first blush, you probably won't get the job, because nobody knows who you are, or your strengths or you passions because you started off with something you have some insecurities about and as a result that insecurity can rub off on your date. Don't let your autism be the defining factor or your life. It's only a big deal if you make it one. And make sure when you do tell dates that you explain it in a simple and easy way. Don't get too technical or straight faced. Show them that there's nothing to be afraid of because from that point onward they're going to watch you a bit closer.All the best.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 November 2017):
 You can bring it up during the first date. That way they didn't ask you out because of/despite of it, and that way they will not feel duped either. This is no different from all other things we share about ourselves while dating. If you have a kid, you'd mention that on the first date if they didn't already know. If you're religious you'd mention that too on the first date, if they didn't already know. All such things that can be characterized as majorly important, such as your diagnosis, should be mentioned at the first date. Not prior to it, and not way later down the line either. There is a time and a place for all such things to be mentioned.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2017): Hi, I am autistic too (Asperger's) and in the same age range, I "pass" well around people I don't know though. I just tell people upfront if we're getting to know each other well or it seems relevant, usually they're curious and interested to know more about it. I've never had a guy lose interest after I told them or anything. My boyfriend is neurotypical and I told him when we'd been talking online/Skyping regularly for a few weeks but hadn't met in real life yet, he was just like, "oh wow I had no idea, my sister has Asperger's too though".Being autistic, like Asperger's and stuff is not unattractive. Autistic women often look young for their age and are quite charming and endearing as well as often creative, unique and intelligent. A lot of autistic women I've known have also been very attractive in a physical sense. On the last series of Britain's Next Top Model, there was an autistic model actually who did well in the competition. Just make sure you remember to take care of yourself, maybe try a little makeup if you feel comfortable with it/don't wear it already and get some well-fitted clothes.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 November 2017):
 Perhaps mention it after a couple of dates/hang outs?
Like Phil said, just be careful of those who will take advantage of you.
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A
male
reader, Phil052 +, writes (2 November 2017):
 My son, 18, has ASD. I think it is best to be open and honest. Some men will run a mile, but that tells you straight away the type of person they are, so that's an advantage! A man who understands and is still interested is what you are looking for, and there will be plenty of men out there who fall into this category. Just beware of men who seem to be supportive, but who might be looking to take advantage of you. I wish you so much luck xx
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A
male
reader, ManWithAView1 +, writes (2 November 2017):
One could make a joke of it. Some people are artists and are good at art. I, however, am good at aut, what's aut? I'm autistic... and yes guys will like females with ASD. As for me I'm autistic myself and yes I'm very good at aut.
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