A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice on how to talk to my best friend about her drinking. Over the last few years it has got progressively worse, she has been in a relationship for 9 years that is not helping her. She has started to make inappropriate comments to my bf and me when she is drunk, sometimes these comments are insulting others are suggestive. I am worried about her state of mind and am finding it difficult to know what to say without offending her.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 Cerberus is right. However, it's a low probability that she'll readily listen to your entreaties merely because you're her friend at first. Usually, people hit rock bottom before they become malleable. The first reaction is usually defensiveness.
Do you have a way to confront her with the proof of her behavior? If you can't record her at the height of her obnoxiousness, you should give her very specific examples of her behavior.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): Use your phone to video her when she's drunk then show it to her when she' sober. Hopefully she'll be horrified at her own behavior and want to do something about her drinking.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): Pull no punches OP, a good friend doesn't beat around bush or walk on eggshells and you need to nip this in the bud. Look I've had addict and alcoholic friends, the only solution I found was to talk to them sober. Now you can only talk so many time before you just have to take action in the form of not being around them when they're drunk. It's that simple. OP alcohol or weed or whatever drug or drink you take is supposed to be just a good time enhancement. If a person is no longer having a good time when drinking then they shouldn't drink. Alcohol is not the solution to a problem as you well know.
Talk to her while sober, tell her she's becoming a buzz kill and if she can't enjoy herself while drunk then she really shouldn't drink. Then just make sure you're not around her while drunk, it's that simple. You're not trying to be cruel you're doing that to protect the friendship OP because she's crossing the boundaries of acceptable behaviour.
OP people are always saying you need to stick by your friends through thick and thin but that's inaccurate. Sometimes by sticking around and putting up with their crap you enable them to keep themselves in that position, a good friend knows when you have to take a big step back and let a person sort themselves out.
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