A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I have been together for quite some time, we have a house together,share incomes,do everything as one.He has never cheated on me yet I cant stop doing things such as checking his facebook post or see his chat logs for MSN and I dont understand why.I have been cheated on in past relationships.But he's done nothing to make me think he would. We have had one encounter where I accused him of doing me wrong.It turns out I had made a mistake and after him not speaking to me for a while we had made up.Well recently he had found out that his MSN history has been saved and he questioned me about it(you have to manually go under setting to have it be done) the issue is I dont know if I did it.( I may have done it a long time ago while I was being curious,but I dont remember but it sounds like something I would do) I told him that if I did, I would have done it by mistake.(which is the truth)I just dont know how to get him to believe me I wouldn't have lied to him on purpose I have no doubt that I may have accidentally done it but he more upset that I lied to his face about it then the actual act of doing it.How do I get him to believe me that I didnt know that I was lying about it mainly because at the time he asked me I didnt remember changing his settings.
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female
reader, Skyhawk  +, writes (16 December 2010):
You sound like me.. to a point.
I am currently in a relationship with, who I believe to be, the most amazing man in the whole entire world.
However, this has not always been the case. Before him, I have been lied to, cheated on, had my self esteem destroyed, forced to do things I didn't want to, and been subjected to abuse. Because of my past, I didn't believe I would ever be able to trust a man again. What I came to realize was, I can not let my past relationships get in the way of the here and now. It is not productive and in the end, you will only be doing further harm. If he has shown you that he is to be trusted, trust him. But maybe consider this- If he was so upset about you reading his chat logs, is he hiding something? I wouldn't be phased at all.. Best to confront him about that, but only if you're certain..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Counseling, get counseling, get it now before it ruins your relationship.
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