A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi there,I have a girlfriend, she's just crazy about me and the problem i'm having is, when i'm with her i'm normal and when she's not with me i start flirting men. I had sex with men too. I know that i'm betraying her but all i wanna do is to get rid of this habit which i'm finding difficult and to make a perfect life with her and think about our future.She's perfect, i don't wanna loose her. I scared this might affect my life later on.What am i supposed to do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): How do you stop? You come to terms with your sexuality. Obviously you're not straight. If you were you wouldn't want sex with me. Is there a chance that you love her but are gay?
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (2 March 2011):
If your girlfriend is so perfect, then why are you cheating on her?
You are the one who chooses to cheat by flirting with men and going further.
Take a step back and look at the situation. There is obviosuly something not right in your relationship as otherwise you wouldn't be doing what you're doing.
Ask yourself: Is this relationship actually right for you? Are you wanting to stay with her because you're in a comfort zone?
You obviously have feelings for both sexes and you need to work out whether you are straight, bi (most likely) or gay.
It doesn't matter which sex you cheat with, at the end of the day cheating is cheating.
If you want to stop, then stop.
If you find you cannot do this, then you have to do the right thing and call it off with your gf.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 February 2011):
 Might affect your life later on? It's already affecting you life! Don't fool yourself here, what you do will affect you, and you most of all. If you want to be happy and monogamous with your girlfriend then you have everything you need to do that already. The only one ruining that dream is yourself.
It's not a "habit" you have. You make a conscious choice. Your actions are never just out of habit, so that you are not responsible for them, or can't help yourself. Scratching your nose is something you do out of habit. Forgetting to hang up the laundry so it dries is a habit. Sleeping around and cheating is NOT a habit. It's a conscious action, it requires you to actually make the choice to DO these things. Men don't simply land in your bed by habit once your girlfriend is away. You actively go out there, seek them out, flirt, walk to their bed, or invite them to your own. You don't remove your clothes out of habit, you make the choice to do so.
Realize that this isn't a habit, or that you are some victim of it and without control. You have all the means necessary to lead the life YOU want to. Decide on what you want. And each time you feel the urge to do otherwise, remind yourself of what you actually want.
If you can not stop then show your girlfriend the respect she deserves and end the relationship.
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