A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my fiancee thinks that im always up to something or doing something intentional agst him. But that is not true at all. For example, he cannot find the digital camera which I have put somewhere and I dont know where it is myself and am honest with him about it. That got me freaking, wondering if I lost it now, yet, he hs indirectly accused me of taking it and hiding it from him so that he wouldnt take pictures. Which, in fact, he is wrong, just cause I have a tendacy of putting things places and then Im left searching for them for days just cause I cant remember all the details. Towards me, he is holding grudge and cannot accept my dead honest answer...he still thinks it is intentional. Yet, this really hurts me..it's now consuming my mind while i should be studying for my final so then I can get my certificate . After, the 1 hr spat, he tries to let it go by saying to forget about it..but i can't since it is on my mind. I dont know what to do, or what to say anymore...im becoming more defensive just because im tired of hearing stuff that is not true. How will ever I get to him so he can stop ?
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female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Is this a recurring pattern or just an occasional thing? If he is often accusing you of doing things just to upset him, I would wonder whether something else is going on that he is angry with you about (something you may not have discussed yet) or if you are subconsciously doing things to needle him (this often shows itself with us doing things and then forgetting that we did them--like putting something away in a place it doesn't normally go).
I recommend you have a long, unheated conversation with your fiance. Try to get to the root of the problem--because it sounds like one of you has something bothering you that you haven't dealt with.
Best of luck.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 He probably won't. If he can't take your words for face value, then he can't trust you. You need to walk away and find someone that will. Stop settling.
DV1
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