A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay, Aunties I need my fears eased.Seven years ago, my fiance had a friends with benefits relationship with a woman for a year. She ended it with him because another woman got jealous.The whole situation is bizarre. The fwb ex-girlfriend ended up going out with the married woman. It's a small town so it's hard "not to" run into people at all here.I've seen his ex from time to time and we do small talk.The other day, she and her partner stopped at the house because they wanted to give something to my fiance regarding a house matter.They were both very pleasant and I let them into the foyer since the house was upside down and a mess. I was in the middle of cleaning.Still I felt uncomfortable even letting his ex even into the foyer, being the ex had a history with my fiance but yet I felt okay about her partner.His ex wished me a happy holiday as they left and walked down the sidewalk.Is it normal to feel this way? There is no way I can't help but run into them because the town is so small. Not that I dislike them. I don't. I just get a general unease which I think may be insecurity on my part. I just don't like an ex of any kind in our house. But I wanted to be hospitable and not come off as some kind of jerk.I guess I got to hand it to exe's partner for showing up as well. She is the leader in a lot of town activities and it was her idea to stop and offer information that we needed. I never factored in her feelings until now.
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ex girlfriend, fiance, friend with benefits, his ex, jealous, married woman Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): maybe you are looking too much into it and creating drama like situations for nothing.
They only stopped by the house for a practical matter, your fiance didnt even invite them over etc. If he and her were in regular contact, messaging etc then here it could raise some questions, but it doesn't seem like it's the case (and the partner was there too anyways).
When you feel like the green monster is rearing it's head, think about why your bf is with you and how much he loves you!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 November 2012):
 First of all their relationship was a FWB so a strictly physical one and.. the woman dumped your fiance for another woman - so it seems like the "ex" prefers women over men, first of all - she has been with the same woman for 7 years, so that is OBVIOUSLY serious.
Try and stop looking at the "ex" as an ex. I don't think you have anything to fear from either ladies.
Accept that your fiance has a past and this "ex" is part of that past. There is no competition for his affections or attention.
And whatever you are "creating" in your imagination, you need to shut that down.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (20 November 2012):
 His relationship with this woman was seven years ago - You're the one he's with now. Retroactive jealousy can damage a relationship, so do yourself a huge favor and let it go.
It seems she isn't even into men anymore, she's seeing another woman. Like you said, it's a small town and you're going to run in to her from time to time - So make peace with the fact that she was ONCE a part of his life, and move on.
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