A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am in mid twenties. My previous and first relationship was with a guy from high school . We were together for 6 years and he cheated on me. It was very messy and painful breakup. I made him like centre of my universe and did all compromises to make him happy. In that process I lost actually me. Now that's fine I tried so hard finally moved on. Still I remorse over past. Coming to the story, I was single for more than a year now. My parents are looking for suitable match and there is a guy from office trying to approach . He seems to be good calm and gives respect. I am worried like this one might end up like my past relationship . I feel like I am too available for him. And I am hoping for his calls text waiting to see him. I don't have much of friends too. What should I do? How to stop being desperate and be normal than clingy person
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2019): I used to be exactly like you and i even went through the same experience with my ex , but i got over being clingy by creata life for my self and occupying myself with work , gym , cleaning my house ..... and even when i have the urge to grap my phone and call him or text him i would stop and leave my phone , you should know ur self worth and make him chase u
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2018): The fact you are aware how you feel is a bonus. Why not research online ways to not be needy and clingy, just tips really.But like you I wear my heart on my sleeve, my friends and even my daughter say I reply back to my boyfriends texts to fast, I make all the efforts and I know he knows this, luckily he loves me and doesn't take advantage. Simple tips though, let him ask you out, do not text first all the time, leave it, even if it is a few days for him to get back to you. Have your own hobbies and interests so that you are not 'readily available' at all times if he asks. Even so decline a date or two and suggest another day so that he doesn't think you are just waiting for him. And lastly TRY NOT TO pin all your hopes on him, just take it that he is nice and at the moment it is about getting to know each other, you are possibly right, if he thinks you are too keen it may be off putting. If you are aware your last relationship faltered because it was you doing all the effort then learn to step back and keep control of your emotions. I have learned to not be so quick to text my boyfriend, to not chase him all the time, to wait for him to ask me out on a date, to give him the space to tell me how he feels without me pushing for it.It isn't about playing games, it's about it being an equal feeling where he knows how you feel and vice versa. I hope it goes well, JUST TAKE IT STEADY!!
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