A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I have done a stupid thing. I have worked at my place as a secretary for 2 months. My boss is a really nice and patient guy but very sucessful (a rare combo). Anyways in my previous employment my boss bullied me and took away my confidence in my abilities, so this new manager is like a breath of fresh air.Let me just say, I have never looked at him in any other way before - he reminded me of my uncle and is a lot older than me by about 30 yrs. Well last week I was taken by surprise all of a sudden. I was talking to him and he looked at my mouth which felt sleezy and a bit inappropriate, but I put it from my mind.Then the following day he saved me from a situation that activates my insecurities (i.e. Another manager wanted to know something I didn't have a clue about)The following day he said something that made me really laugh and it seemed to spark me off being attracted to him.I went home and fantasised about him and couldn't get him off my mind, even though I felt slightly sick at the idea of sleeping with him as he is an old man who is not attractive lolThe next day he seemed to be pushing the boundaries by being flirtateous. He is a married man and as far as I know very happily. Anyways so weekend came and I could not stop thinking about him and felt ashamed too. Monday came and he was as cold as ice. More than likely he realised how inappropriate it was and how much of a bastard he was being to his wife, which is good and I sincerely mean that. I felt as though it was good that he had stopped as it stopped me from getting carried away with my feelings too.My biggest worry is - will he think I'm a loose slut now though? I like him a lot as a boss and am trying to show him that I'm not some jezebell that wants to knock off a married man, but I'm worried its too late. I didn't actually confirm anything and do anything like touch him or anything he could say... But I did relish in it when he was flirty. Help how do I show him I'm not like that?
View related questions:
bullied, confidence, flirt, married man, my boss, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (28 April 2012):
 Speak in a professional tone. Avoid personal comments, compliments or jokes. When you're around him avoid eye contact. Be preoccupied with your phone, or your notepad or whatever it takes to keep your eyes from wandering. Dress appropriately and maybe a little prudish for awhile. Pants vs. skirts. When he talks to you try to keep your face void of expression. If he makes a joke, just chuckle stiffly and try not to let yourself get carried away. He's already changed his behavior so you must do the same. More than likely his behavior was nothing more than friendliness but he picked up on your signals and wants to make sure you don't get the wrong idea. Take it as a cue.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2012): you didn't do anything wrong. I mean you weren't the one who started flirting, nor did you actively go to seek it out. dont' worry, just go back to behaving towards him as if nothing ever happened. it will blow over.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 If you never done nothing wrong then stop worrying about it, at the end of the day everyone likes it when someone shows them attention, so stop worrying about it, if he ever does over step the mark then you can be the one to say sorry but you are married and I take my job seriously. Try not read to much in to it. You are worrying over nothing.
...............................
|
