A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Her and her BF just broke up. How do I do this right?So this girl that I've liked for a very long time broke up with her bf after 3 moths. It was a bad relationship. She knows I have feelings for her but we still remain really close friends. It was mostly because she was dating someone already. I really respect and admire this girl and don't want it to be a rebound relationship. I've gotten to know her friends and they pretty much adore me. And pretty much everyone has wondered for the last 6 months why we werent dating. I know she is attracted to me. She flirts with me, and hugs me in a more than friends way when were alone and I leave her house for the night. I think she is afraid to date someone she considers a close friend. How do I show her that real relationships are based on friendship?Or should I just take the easy route. Wait a while for her heart to heal and then just kiss her.oh btw, i just turned 18 and she is almost 16.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 She might just not feel that way.
From experience (as in, I was in the same situation as the girl you're talking about), I was in a relationship of 4 years unti I was 20. Throughout that relationship I was friends with a guy, he was pretty much my rock for the last year of the relationship, which turned bad. I knew he had feelings for me, and even though I was attracted to him, I knew it would never work. In the end we ended up getting together, because I felt sorry for him. All our friends kept pressuring us, and he was like a sad puppy, so I gave in. It was ok for 3 months, but after that, as I had suspected in the first place, it just wasn't right for me and we broke up.
Unfortunately we now don't even speak (his wishes, not mine). He was very bitter about it, and took the breakup very badly. I endured months of abuse from him, and I regret the day I decided to get with him, having lost a good friendship.
So not all friendships are a great basis for a relationsip - not if both people aren't 100% into it.
On the other hand I have been with my current boyfriend nearly a year. I have known him 10 years and I'm sure one day I will marry him.
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