A
female
age
30-35,
*aiting for an angel
writes:Well i have a problem, my ex broke up w/ me a few weeks ago he has a really bad perspective of me, he cant stand me. Until today he thought we might still have a future but now he doesn't believe that anymore. He tells me he wont ever change the bad things he thinks about me, that im not a good friend and that i never know what to say. I need help - we're having a baby in 1 1/2 mths and i want to try something , he thinks im still the same old person but im changing and i want to show him i have many good things to offer that i have learned from my mistakes.
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female
reader, Waiting for an angel +, writes (25 May 2010):
Waiting for an angel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe reason he broke up with me was because he doesnt love me anymore. We didnt have the best relationship we argued alot , and i wasnt the best girlfriend to him . He thinks im the same bitch as before, but with the break up i've realized the amount of mistakes i made when we were together, and i regret them all. We tried being friends but its extremely hard on me seeing him as only my friend , for him is no problem bcuz yes we're having a child but thats as far as it goes bcuz he doesnt feel the baby or see my stomach on a daily basis. He's a resposible person he found a job and he's giving me money for the baby.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (25 May 2010):
 He broke up with you a few weeks before giving birth because he has a bad perspective of YOU? Something's not adding up. Are you sure he didn't break up with you because he's not ready to be a father?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 May 2010):
 As much as he's trying to convince you and himself that you're the problem with your relationship and that he tries to make you feel bad about yourself, this is really about his inability to grow up and face the responsibility of his soon-to-be-here son or daughter. If he's the same age as you (18-21), he wants to run around and sow his wild oats and be carefree. You represent a change in life to being responsible and caring for a child. Some guys when faced with that run for the hills. Some cheat first.
Don't feel bad about what he said to you. And don't let him get away with splitting on his responsibility to your kid either. Whether he wants to grow up, whether he wants to bash you, you are carrying his kid, and he owes you the respect that is owed the mother of his kid.
Are you going to keep the kid? Give him or her up for adoption?? At this point, you have to change your perspective away from pining after this loser to carving and making out a future for your kid and holding this guy to the fire, so to speak. If he doesn't step up to support the kid on his own, you need to get the law involved, and show no mercy or weak-kneed antics. This guy is NOT worth your love if he can knock you up and then blow you off. The sooner you're done pining away for him, the sooner you'll get much stronger.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (25 May 2010):
 I am sorry that you're having a tough time right now and appreciate that you are having a child very soon with this man, but unfortunately trust and love, once lost, can take a very long time to regain and should not be rushed.
The only thing you can do is to be patient, show him that you really have changed and hope that there is still a spark there inside of him for the both of you.
If he is no longer interested in the relationship, try and be good friends for the sake of your child. Who knows what the future may bring.
I wish you so much luck here x
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