A
female
age
36-40,
*mptypenguin
writes:I get that he doesn't want me back now. I know it. I keep telling myself that. I know for a fact that its over. I don't understand why I still keeep coming back to him. Its annoying cause I send him this text brigade, text after text after text ranting asking for him back. the thing is though. I'm feeling sorry for myself now. I asked him to just please delete me or block me on all the text apps we talk to, but he says no. And that he says he's always there for me, and that gives me false hopes. I erased and blocked him everywhere only to unblock him again. its like I'm a broken record. I keep doing all these things to myself and him too. He keeps being the good guy, and he keeps saying I'm always making him the bad guy. Says he's always there for me when I need him but can't be with me now. I want to just accuse him and say he's doing it on purpose and just keeping me hanging. But he really is a good guy making it harder to let go. Sometimes though I wish he would just man up and delete me and block me so I wouldn't be talking to him anymore.im trying, but its been hard letting go mostly when he says that he doesn't know what the future holds lol. how do I put it and keep it in my head and have it locked up in there, that its really over. I may not even want the guy back but this pain and hurt im feeling is so high that even my brain can't function well enough. I want to let go. I really want to let go.I read on here a lot but never asked for help. I get the help from reading others problems that are similar to mine. I've read them and I try and follow them. But why am I so pathetic and keeps going back. I need to be slap, help me. How do I stop.
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female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (25 June 2013):
 If you want something physical that you can do, then try this. I had a similar period of time, wanting an ex back but knowing it was wrong.
Basically, take everything you have that reminds you of him or you as a couple (photos, gifts, jewellery etc) and put them all into boxes. Then put those boxes in the loft/attic/basement, somewhere where they are out of sight. The saying goes 'out of sight, out of mind'. It's worked really well for me, and at some point in the future you can go and look through the boxes and have fond memories.
Most importantly, give yourself time to heal. The other aunts and uncles have already given you some good advice. Don't give up...
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (25 June 2013):
 Hi, you have to find a friend that you can trust and call when you have this need or craving to call and text your ex. She / he should talk you out of contacting the ex. Also start reading books, watching movies going out with friends. The trick is to keep busy and change your focus every time your mind wanders to the ex. Eventually with time you will think less and also not want to contact him. Remember if he such a great guy why did he hurt and break your heart.
Also don't demean and lower yourself by calling him and he is enjoying the fact that you are desperate for him, so he is not being nice. He just likes the attention.
By you calling/messaging begging him to take you back you show little self respect and generally men want what they cant have. I can assure stop calling and sending message it will bruise his ego that you have the strength to move.
I was in your shoes and finally was able to let go by doing the above. And guess what my ex was back trying to get in touch with me. I was not interested, because if he could so easily cause me so much pain, I can never trust him.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 June 2013):
Well for starters, you need to try to not take the break up personally. So many people are devastated by break ups not because they really miss the person, but because rejection hurts and you crave that acceptance.
So, remind yourself that there's nothing wrong with you. The problem is that you two aren't compatible.
Second, block his ass! Keep him blocked. Treat yourself as a drug addict, and anytime you feel the need to contact him remember how bad it is for your recovery.
Third, get out there and enjoy life. Nothing makes the pain go away like enjoying your life. If you can afford it maybe you need to go on vacation... I suggest somewhere like central America or SE Asia where it's cheap and there are a lot of people your age.
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