A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am married to a Mamma's boy's and a Misogynist for 10 years, been emotionally fatiqued with comparisons to MIL, berated as performing suboptimally as spouse and constantly suspected of havin affairs (none of it is true) and in a passionless marriage. In any case that is not my question, I have choosen to stay.... for the sake of kids and family honor, and he is attempting to make changes, due to my dedication to his family, appreciate the effort but realistically....My consern is my 3 yr old, is totally s Mama's boy, hangs on very word of mine, is hostile towards his dad, easily get upset if I attend to my much low maintainance 2nd child. Also gets unexpectely withdrawn and sullen and upset with me and the world in social situations, if my attention slacks. Is a brilliant child but easily becomes unpopular. I feel he is in the path of becoming his Dad. HELP I want him to have a happy well balance life, grow independent and make a woman truely happy one day, and in turn experience true and wholesome love. We have a very special bond, and Iam emotionally dependent on him too, but I will do what it takes for his true happiness and healhty emotional development. AM a busy professional should I go part time, seek prof help, give him more or less attention can personalities ever change. These conserns are not mine alone, both my parents feel the same, a lot of my folks fear his sharp tongue and keep their distance but totally dote over my 2yr old. He is only a child but I believe in early intervention. PLEASE ADVICE
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): I cannot give you advice regarding your child as I don't have any children but I do know that behaviour is often learnt. For that reason I suspect it will take a change of pattern in both of your behaviours (as parents) not just yours. You have recognised your co-dependency - which is good, honest and responsible. Could it be that you are relying on your children for happiness because other areas of family life are so poor? This may have caused an unhealthy dynamic. My husband, who is 40, is a Mummy's boy but I can see that both his parents played their part in making him so. Now... I have the same situation you do having been put down for years. I wish you luck and hope you get some good advice here.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): Here's the way I see it. If you and the Father are going to be at odds and battling for the hearts and minds of your children, then whats the point of staying for "the sake of your children"? Its already a hostile environment for them emotionally. Its practically like you and the father are separated anyways and it might even make it more stressful for your kids to see you and their Dad fight and disagree, and then expect them to take sides.
Maybe you should consider leaving if everyone is just going to be miserable.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): Does your husband spend time with him alone? I think it would help if they go out on daddy/son days where you are not around and he has to rely on his father.
You could seek help, there may be things you don't even realize your doing that affect his behavior.
Do you see your husband perhaps teaching him habits you do not approve of? if you do then you have to speak with him about it.
I have to say my boyfriend is also a Mamas boy, and has complete lack of trust for any women. i am also accused of the affairs.
he also says when his daughter brings home boyfriends he will basically make her life a living hell so she cant see any boys.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): have u considered telling him in simple words that thats what his supposed to be without being harsh...It will work and he will eventually get it.
Stop being a mother for a moment and be a meta
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