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How do I make him see the reason he is single is his bad hygiene??

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Question - (16 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi aunts and uncles,

I have a bit of an odd problem. I've been friends with this guy for about 8 years, and I have tried to bring this up to him numerous times in different ways but he won't listen.

The problem is, he has given up on women because he thinks he can't get a girlfriend. He thinks it's because of his looks or personality, but it isn't. He's gorgeous, sweet and intelligent. The problem is his hygiene, or lack of it. To be honest, he stinks, and it's purely because of laziness. He rarely washes himself or his clothes, and if we go out to a club or something I have to remind him to have a shower and put on clean clothes. The thought just doesn't cross his mind to think of it himself.

I've tried to tell him both politely and bluntly and he refuses to believe that his hygiene is the reason. As for me, I'm used to it and expect it, but I certainly don't expect other girls to tolerate it and I just don't bother introducing him to anyone anymore.

Is there something I can say or do to make him see the light?

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A female reader, dearkelja United States +, writes (16 May 2008):

dearkelja agony auntThe thing is that poor hygiene comes naturally to him. Even if he showers up for the club where he might meet a girl, he'll lose her once the leopard stripes come back. He needs some serious intervention to realize that women (most of us anyway) just don't like to be with men who are not clean. We can't introduce them to our friends or family and God forbid we have to bring them along for a work event.

I say show your pal this post with all of our answers.

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntI know this is going to sound cruel, but you have to be cruel to be kind. Next time you are out with him, ask a few random girls whether they would date your friend, if they say no because of his bad hygiene then at least he has heard this from somebody else but you. Hopefully he might take the hint.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008):

There really is nothing you can do, hun. You could buy him a kit full of nice smelling soaps, underarm deodorant, aftershave and tell him 'use it"! But will he? Not likely if he is lazy. And then understand this one very important thing...his odors and body smells are 'his' problem and he will remain alone and single until he gets with the program. If he complains about his demise in the dating world...tell him if he's too lazy to do anything abouthis poor hygiens..he's to stop the complaining and whining at you. There is no other way of putting it, dear. Stop being so dang nice about it and don't baby him. He's an adult..he knows what to do.

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