A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I live in a town where men interpret "no" as "yes, but I'm just playing hard to get for now." In addition to that, they're also very forward and persuasive. Often when I'm approached for my number but am uninterested, I'll initially just plain out say "no, sorry" and when they insist despite my protests, I tell them to add me on facebook rather (for some reason I feel that is more indicative of my interest in friendship but not anything deeper). The only way to show you are very serious about not being interested is by basically being very mean or explaining you have a bf (and still the harrassment may even continue). I don't want to have to become mean or lie about bfs because it is after all quite a small knit community where everyone knows almost everyone and building a reputation of 'a mean, unapproachable b!#*h' or denying myself of potential suitors because of my fake bfs isn't really ideal.How do I let stubborn guys know that I really do not want to give out my number?!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (22 December 2014):
 YOU are in total control of who contacts you, and who knows - or learns - how to contact you....
IF there is a guy who asks you for "your number"... it is OK for you to say, "I really don't want to have you get in touch with me....".... OR, you can give him a bogus number (say the number at a nearby radio station)... and let him live with the results of calling that.....
WHY don't you women believe that YOU are in control of YOUR lives??????
Good luck...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2014): I think a lot of girls can relate to this dilemma and it is so very annoying, I agree. When I was in college, my roommate and I used to often go to bars and pubs just to have a beer, talk amongst ourselves, read the newspaper and look for summer jobs. She didn't mind so much but I would get so annoyed when boys would approach me always with some tacky pick up line. Meanwhile I was trying to concentrate on something else. I know it's not the best solution but it was often the only one that worked. I don't know how many guys I told to "^^ck off." Just like that. Otherwise they are complete leaches. Sometimes if they see you talking to another guy, they'll sit back and wait till that guy goes to the bathroom and then sweep in on you. It's like they take turns and they have no shame about it. They are like car salesmen. But then again I lived in a big city so I wasn't worried I'd see these people again. If someone keeps pushing something that you are not interested in and you've tried to be polite about it, I don't see anything wrong with being assertive, even if you may come off like a bitch. But because you live in a small town where everybody knows everybody you might be better off being polite. Maybe just for the sake of things, try to be a little more social and open minded but keep things short and brief.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2014): It's one thing to be persuasive, it's another to intimidate a female into giving you personal-information.
You have to learn how to say "sorry,no" and remove yourself from the situation if he persists. You can't let guys push you around for information that you do not wish to give them. The last thing you should worry about is being thought of as a mean bitch; because you said "no!" Which means no!!!
Guys will persist only because you are "playing" hard to get. Stop playing and be straight-forward when the situation demands it. They don't know when you're serious. So they pressure you until you give-in. Trust me, you don't want to be with guys like that. If they want sex, they'll take that by force too!
Give them a fake number if you're going to be hanging out where the guys are so tough and rude, and you're afraid to say no to them. They don't sound like "potentials" if they're that disrespectful and pushy. If they're offended because you gave them a fake number, tell them it was because they were too disrespectful. Nothing else need be said.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 December 2014):
 Just say no, and if they keep asking IGNORE them. That is NOT being mean, That is called standing your ground. You CERTAINLY do not have to ADD them on Facebook or give out your number if you don't want to.
I seriously doubt you will get a reputation for being a mean bitch by saying no and not making any excuses for your no.
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