A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hiii,Actually i struggle a lot with how to behave with my boyfriend ..* he always says i am childish .....* i drag things a lot..he does not have patience to hear.* i text him a lot and it annoys him wen his relatives will be there.....* and im possessive about him...* i wont listen to him..he says all these things irritate him a lot.....he is just 2 years elder than me....last week his relatives were there at his home and i left him 3, 4 msgs.. later thought he m8 be sleeping and dint text.. after they went he asked me rudely should he text me or speak to his relatives wen they will be there..i replied saying speak to them...he said it annoys him a lot and irritates ..i knew for afternoon his relatives were there at home... i dint know later in the evening also they were there and i texted .. as he said my msgs annoys him i really felt bad and dint text him next day till afternoonhe said so only he does not want to say anything frankly as i take it negatively...after that he started telling mine and ur thinking is different....for only that he started telling i dont listen to him.. he says do wat ever u want i wont ask u anything anyway u dont listen to me....i really feel bad to hear all this from him .(i listen to him..i want to )..fact is i dont really expect him to text me all time.. let him enjoy his life with others too...but i expect him to inform me b4 that he cant text...then i wont text him at all... i understand he cant text wen others will be there.. i too agree it disturbs...wat ever i do it looks childish to him...and if i say ok ill try to change he says it wont be natural if u try to behave matured...i dont know how to react to him..and one more fact which really hurts me is he never share his sadness with me...i dont like to be part of only his happiness .. i want to be in his sadness too...i feel he is pushing me aside...he had a close friend with whom he used to share everything his happiness and sadness... as a friend he used to love her a lot...unfortunately she passed away few months back...:(:( i dont know how to make him come out of it ....she was my friend too.. it gives me pain if i think she is no more... so i think she is still there and she is busy with her life so she is not talking to me and keep quite..but for him .. she was very close... if i try to say anything to him he says i dont know the pain of loosing closed one.. whom v love...i too feel the pain .. may be not as much as him... but im struggling very hard to make him come out.. its been 10 months of her alreadythey had a group of 4 all were very close to each other... now she is not there(passed away)...one of the group friend was very close to me and to him also....now even they both r not talking bec of family prob.. even though they want to be close and be in contact... bec of family prob they have completely stopped speaking...even she stopped speaking to me.... she is my close friend too... i always get thoughts ... how she is... wat she m8 be doing... how much pain she is facing alone...if i try to contact her.... both my boyfriend and she blast me...... again he will scold saying i dont listen to him if he says not to contact her...they actually like each other a lot... and die for their friendship ... but they still scold wen i try to contact...if he be in sadness i feel like crying... its one of the reason y he dont share things with me...but now a days i dont cry... but still im not able to get close to him...2 days back while texting he was replying only hmm hmm for my msgs.. i asked is he feeling sleepy he said no he is not..later i asked him many times wat happened.. he dint reply... so i tried to call him 2 3 times he dint pick... later he picked .... he was sleepingi had disturbed him..... again he scolded saying im childish and i irritate him... if he had told he is feelin sleepy i wd have not texted him after thati thought he is low and texted and called him with concern... but again it irritated him..wen v went out for lunch.... i put to his plate wat they had served for me.... he again scolded i don know how to behave,.. im very childish....hmmm i really wonder how will he be with me all his life... as he dont like my childish behavior.. wen he dont like my behavior ... how will he share things with me??how will he feel closeness with me???i dont have any problem with him.... i love him..he is very nice as a person..even he loves me but he has problem with my behavior..can u say how to behave maturedly ... and make him come out of sadness... and be close to him so that he feels close to share all his pain and happiness with me.......waiting for ur valuable replies.....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth +, writes (6 June 2012):
 This won't work out. You're not compatible and your presence (and nearly everything you do) annoys him. You can't (and shouldn't) change yourself entirely for another person. End this relationship and make sure that the next time you commit to someone, it is someone you're compatible with.
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