A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my husband have been together for about a year now and we just had a baby boy. Sometimes I feel like we moved too fast. We got married after 6 months and in the beginning everything was great but now it's not all. I don't even feel like he loves me anymore. I've tried every thing to show him how much I love him but I still get nothing. He's just so cold to me and he acts like he's annoyed when I talk to him. I think he's cheating on me, I'm not sure. He just lies to me about alot of thing and I don't know what to believe. It's like the only time he pays attention to me is when I put on my hard face with him, I don't like to do it but it's the only time he acts like he care about me. I don't know, maybe he just likes it when I act like I don't care. I really hate acting like that but I don't know what else to do. I wanna leave him because all he does is make me feel bad all the time. Please help me, what should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): The worst phase of a marriage is after you have a kid.If I calculate right your baby is 3-4 months old.
After a delivery most of the women go through a post depression phase.We are worried if we still look as sexy as before.If he would find another slim,sexy woman.Please do correct me if I am wrong.We are sleepless,restless and totally exhausted from caring for a baby.So we start loving the guy more just to make up for not being able to give enough attention to the husband.The guy wonders "What is happening here?".Most of the time we start criticizing and becoming suspicious.In the end the guy decides -anyway she isn't going to believe me.she is going to yell at me.Let me tell lies.
He says things to pacify you.Unlike us, guys hate confrontation.We might like yelling things out.All he will do is sulk.We start thinking he doesn't care for us anymore.
Start leaving your baby with someone for a few hours everyday.Take time out for yourself.Make sure you are looking good.Don't bother about him.Go around with a cheery smile and a song on your lips.Wear sexy stuff inside the house.Who says if you are a mom you cannot feel sexy?.The more relaxed you are,he will relax around you.I am a nagging wife too.So guilty as charged.No one likes a nagging wife.Next time you are tempted to yell,drink something cool and just take a few deep breaths.
Make him play with the baby.Make sure you join in too.The baby is the best bond between you guys.Try these things out.If it doesn't work, the next step is counseling.
If you are still feeling miserable,weigh your options.Take care.God bless.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 November 2008):
I think you are right, you got married and had a kid in a relationship that was only ever going to last a year.
Sit him down and ask him if he is serious about this marriage or if he wants out.
Then you can either go to counselling and try your best, or split up and work out how to raise the child as divorcees.
Good Luck!! xx
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