A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I'm a fifteen years old high school student. For about two or three years now, I've really, really, liked this pretty church-girl, and I've been so head over heels for her since. I like her so much, but it just felt so weird since I didn't even know her at the time, and after all this time I hardly know her now. She seems like such an awesome person, and she probably is, but I never took the chance to get to know. Over the past several years, I felt like I spent all this time living scared of all the mistakes I could have made trying to confront her, while only being smack down to reality again, that I didn't consider how not doing anything would mess me up a whole lot more, now I just feel like I'm have to pay a price for this now. Now she's eighteen, going to college, and I don't know enough about her to even try to form some kind of relationship with her to try to keep in some contact with her, I've wanted to give up for a while now, but something in my gut won't let me stop. Unfortunately, I too late to do anything about her leaving now, and wish I had handled things differently in the past so I wouldn't have to deal with this now, especially like this. If I just let things go with loose ends on on my side, I know I'll resent myself forever, but I'm afraid of looking like an asshole while doing this. I just really need closure, but I'm not sure if I deserve it. And even if I did, how would I ask for it, from a person who barely knows me? I already hate myself for letting this person slip right through my life, and I know I'll look like a total idiot if I don't try stop this. What I'm really trying to ask is, do I deserve closure to try to put this behind me, and if I do how do I try and receive it. How do I confront her? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Having been through the same situation in my past, I have to say it's going to hurt a lot more before it gets better. You can try and gain closure, although what you will find is reality will hit hard, and you'll realize you weren't really in love with her, but with who you BUILT HER UP to be.She has faults, and is human like everyone, and I'm sure you are just really attracted to her physical looks(which means nothing in life).. but that is no excuse to be totally devoted to an outcome with her. All you can do is try and start something, and if it fails, well hey, at least you tried. Just don't expect her to reciprocate anything until she knows that she should. This means don't go and say something like "i love you" or something similar. Just hello, and try to genuiniely be her friend, if she wants to be yours, you'll know. If not, you did what you needed to do.Hope this helps.
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