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How do I give a neck and back massage to a shy man?

Tagged as: Age differences, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 March 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm meeting up with a guy around Easter. I'm going to ask him if he wants to watch a movie (preferably at his house as it would be more comfortable). He's an older man and is not married; we've known each other for about five years and have been good friends for three. We have flirted a lot lately, back to last summer.

I'm thinking of trying to touch him for the first time, just something simple that will give him a non-verbal clue that I really like him and can't stop thinking about him. A lot of people have told me a neck and shoulder massage would do the trick. Unfortunately, we are both painfully shy and I'm not too sure (a) if I should really do that, and (b) how to go about that if it is a good idea. I mean, he's shy and he KNOWS I'm just as shy so I'm not sure, if I attempt that, if it'll just scare him.

So, any thoughts? And if that is a good way to break the touch barrier, how to I go about doing that? I guess I don't just walk up behind him and start massaging his shoulders, right? That would surely make him jump. Not to mention I've never given a massage to a guy before so if I'm gonna do it, I wanna do it right.

View related questions: flirt, older man, shy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009):

I would suggest going to a bar, Then you can have a few drinks give him a kiss and judge his reaction if its not positive just apologize and say your drunk. But from a guys perspective if hes that shy an aggressive female is probably what he needs to g tout of his shell. You shouldnt worry about scarying him off he might even be hoping you make a move so he doesnt have to.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009):

You may have known him for several years, done some flirting with him, but even so, you don't want to send the wrong message, or start out hot and heavy - and going to his house on a first date to give him a massage, however well-intentioned, would do just that.

Just go out for lunch or coffee and hold hands, hug, or give the back of his neck a little light rub - just casually, maybe if you're walking down the street and stop to look in a shop window, sort of situation.

Then next time go to a movie theater, or see a play, or go to a concert, or go bowling. You can talk together and become more at ease. Plenty of time further "down the road" to go to his home. If you're in too much of a rush now, it could indeed scare him off. Nice, slow and easy does it at this point.

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