A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok i'll try to be brief. theres this guy who i really fancy who i have alot in common with. i managed to get his number and when i asked him for it i think i sounded like a moron. he's good friends with my sensei(a sensei is a martial art teacher, i learn aikido which is how i met this guy *jay*) and me and jay never really have anything to do with each other appart from at the dojo(the place where we train) so we're normally beating eachother up lol. we occasionally get a coffee with our sensei and his girlfriend(who is jay's sister). but the long story short is that we don't spend any time together outside of aikido and it's not good form to ask to go out with somone in the dojo.i've got his number but i don't really know how to ask about hanging out, and if he agree's to it how i can flirt with him subtley. i don't really know when the right moment is, and i don't want an awkward moment. if anyone could offer any adivce on how to do this then it will be much appreciated.i really like him and i think he likes me but it's difficult to talk when we've got our sensei and his sister right next to us (especially when they all live in the same house) when they give the look that says 'i know whats happening here'. all beit it's approving but it's uncomfortable.anyway any advice on how to ask him out and if that works, how to flirt with him or at the very least show that i like him more than a friend. any advice about that will be much appreciatedanon x
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks that helps alot, the dojo is extremely social and sensei often arranges dojo events. and most tuesday evenings they all go down to a family bar for a social drink, but because of where i live i can't attend alot of them. and *jay* isn't here very often because of college. and it's becoming a regular thing that i go to the socials when he's not here.
i'm planning on asking him if he wants to hang out either just before or just after training on saturday, it would be a short thing so it should stay light hearted. or am i talking out my arse?
thanks again for the advice i really appreciate it
anon x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): I know what you mean about seeing people only at the dojo, you feel totally lost about asking to hang out any other time. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.
Why don't you (and a few other people) try to organise a group meeting for everyone at the dojo - say have a BBQ or something like that? You can talk to him outside of it then. We've tried to organise that many times before - it's only the weather that's stopped it!
There's nothing wrong with want to meet up outside of the dojo - the whole place should have a friendly feel. I've been invited back to a number of people's houses from my kempo.
Even if it's just everyone hanging out after the club ends (we always go down to the pub), take the chance and then talk to him. And if your group doesn't have a social aspect like our pub visits, i suggest creating one. The club should be focused and important, but there should always be a social part as well, to create good relations.
I hope that helps a litte Xx
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