A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there everyone,I've been feeling really blue lately. This is the first time I've ever really talked about this, so please bare with me a bit as I fumble with explaining things..I'm 18 (and a half) and have no experience whatsoever with girls. I feel really sad, even depressed, about this fact.And by no experience, I really mean "no" experience - both sexually and just relationship-wise. I've never had a girlfriend, certainly never had sex, or done anything remotely sexual with the finer gender. And it has just made me extremely depressed. I'm a man of morals - I'm not interested in going to parties and getting drunk, and losing my virginity that way. I want to find someone important, someone who cares about me and I care about them so much so that losing my virginity is an expression of love or appreciation to them. I'm not religious at all, I just want to "lose" it in a way that actually means something.I guess I'll paint you a picture of who I am now - As I already mentioned I'm 18 years old. I'm a pretty dorky/geeky guy. I'm really into videogames, computers, and movies (possibly going to school for Film Production). I take all AP courses, and consistently get A's and B's in them - so basically I'm an all around nerd.I have a shyness problem, however I have no problem TALKING to people. I've been told a couple times that I'm the life of the classroom, and that I'm funny etc. I have no problem talking to girls either, I enjoy chatting with them and making them laugh and such. However, I just can never seem to get a good vibe from them for anything more than that. I've never chatted with a girl who's given me a feeling that she wont reject me if I ask her out.. And because of that, I've never asked anyone out.I'm kinda a wreck about this. It sounds really lame, but all my other (equally geeky) friends have already had at least one girlfriend by now. One of my best friends (who I figured I'd long have a girlfriend before he got one) just got into a relationship. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't envious of all the happy, loving couples I see everywhere.And it's not even about the sex - yes, I want to lose my virginity, but I only want that to be a sign of affection... I just want someone I can be close to, and who wants to be close to me. :( I don't think I'm bad looking, but I'm not great looking either.I just don't know what to do. I'm really frustrated at myself, and depressed, and feel like everyone is too good for me. I feel like I'll never find anyone special, and that I might as well go curl up and die because no one outside of my immediate family will really care.If you were (or have been) in my shoes, what would you do? How does a shy, geeky guy meet a girl who cares as much about him as he is willing to about her? And while at it, how do I get some (meaningful) sexual experience so I'm not a 40 year old virgin? The thought terrifies me!Cheers all and thank you so much for any help.
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male
reader, DLover  +, writes (14 October 2009):
I'm 20, pretty much in the same situation.
Taking it step by step. Got information from all around the web about what I wanted to know (but was careful to use judgment).
However, sometimes I think I'm too picky: looking for something meaningful with modern early 20 yo women seems to be quite difficult, as few of them truly look for such a thing.
A
male
reader, Delboy69  +, writes (14 October 2009):
Hi buddy,
You are a classic case of "low self esteem".
I love movies (film buff), videogames (Modern Warfare 2 anyone ?), Computers (I work for HP) ... all that crap. I love the internet etc etc .... so yeah I'm a bit geeky but you know what that really doesn't bother me.
Why you might ask ? Well for a start, I earn more than most of my friends by being a "geek". I'm just as confident as the rest and this is through socialising - ie. turn the damn PC off (it will be there when you get back) and go to pub with your mates - sink a few pints etc to relax.
What I find with girls is they absolutly HATE the shy retiring type. How have to be upfront, ballsy, and punch above your weight and they will respond. Yeah you'll get a couple of knockbacks - so what ? Saved you buying then a drink eh :o)
I guess what I'm saying is you have to build self confidence. If you can't do that then fake it. Girls No1 prority is a man who knows what he is ands wants - trust me on this - happy hunting !
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