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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello,i would really like some advice. i am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for over two years. I really love and trust him but i am very jealous and insecure. i get annoyed when my boyfriend goes out without me and i dont like him going away for trips. my best friend moved across seas to study about a year and a half ago and i stayed to be with him. I have only a couple of friends left here who i dont see a lot of. I know this isn't my boyfriends fault but i do feel jealous when he goes out and i don't have much to do. I realise that my feelings are selfish and i really don't want to feel like this. My boyfriend is getting tired of my attitude too. I am quite attractive but really lack self confidence. I want to feel good about myself and not feel jealousy. please help
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female
reader, grace123 +, writes (9 February 2006):
i used to be very jelly also. i used to hate the thought of him making another girl laugh. or when i'm at home and hes out. i jsut told myself he always comes home to me. at the end of the day who does he love who does he kiss?? and if you guys have been together for that long i doubt cheating is even on his mind. hope i helped
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (8 February 2006):
 The fact that you don't really have many friends around you is the root of all this, I think. You resent your boyfriend for having the things you so desperately want. Although this is understandable, I can also see why is getting tired of it. As you say, it's not his fault and he just wants to be happy.
But let's forget about your boyfriend for a minute. Let's think about you. Every choice we make should be for our benefit, not other peoples. Do you regret, deep down, losing this friend that moved away? Is it possible, subconsciously, you resent your bf for being the reason you stayed behind and lost the friend? Deep setted resentments like these can wreck relationships so if this is a possible answer, I would get some counselling or something to get over this.
If it is more simple, i.e. you're just jealous because your boyfriend has friends and social life and sometimes you feel like you just have him, then the answer is simpler too. Get out there, get a life, meet new people, do new things!! Join a club or do something you've never done before. Hanging onto people often makes us feel like we're missing out on other things in life and, again, leads to resentment we don't realise until it's too late.
Once you've sorted out your life, got new friends and started doing stuff away from your bf, your relationship will be so much better. You'll have more confidence, be more secure and an all round more likeable person!
I hope you sort this out. Maybe spend some time on your own thinking about what YOU want to do, what YOU want to achieve. Good luck
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (8 February 2006):
 Hi, Jealousy is a natural thing to feel, we all feel it and it is part of our emotional make up, when it is not good is if it gets out of hand and becomes obsessive, then we have to look at why and what is making us feel this way.
You are feeling the loss of your best friend and putting this onto your relationship with your bloke.
Has he ever done anything to make you doubt his fidelity or loyalty, my guess is that he has not, it is just that he more outgoing with more intrests and maybe a different circle of friends.
You need to get in contact with the mates you dont see much and start going out, if you had some interests and friends seperate from the joint stuff then you would not feel so left out, you would just "be out" !
Would`nt it be nice to say to him that you could not see him on friday as you were out with the girls bowling or something, what a spirit raiser that would be.
You need to do some work on your self confidence, you are pretty and sounds like you are good for a laugh so make yourself up, ring up your mates and go get a life!!
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