A
male
age
30-35,
*aitinforeverrrr
writes:Ok, this is totally weird, I never thought I would have to ask a website about this. I just need someone to help me figure this out.So, I met this guy about a year ago online, (something I never do) and we had started talking and nothing really came of it. I kinda brushed the whole thing off, until one night like a month later, he texted me to come pick him up. I was like seriously depressed that night, so i thought I'd go just for fun. So I picked him up and he jumped in my car and we started talking like old friends. We just like bonded immediately. Anyway we had like this amazing night. I fell in love with him right there. Until he mentioned that he was going out of state for like a month in a few weeks to break up with a guy and see a few friends. It kinda threw me off a little. After that night we were inseparable, we just spent every second together we could. We kinda hooked up once when we had been drinking. Anyway in the three months before he left it changed to I'm gonna move up there because things here aren't good and it would be better for him. It tore me up because I was head over heels in love with him. Like two nights before he left he asked me if i would be at the airport with him when he leaves. In like a sad attempt to see if he would stay, i finally told him how i felt. I said i don't wanna see you go because I am like crazy in love with you. And he told me that he knew and that i should go anyway. I asked him if he had any feelings and i never got a straight answer but he cried in front of me for the first time and told me "I know you're the one i should be with but i have to go." He left. That was September of 09. I kinda sank into this depression. My life kinda spiraled out of control. And when I finally got everything back together, he came back for a weeks visit with his new boyfriend. He insisted that we hang out. It turned my world upside down. I was so ready for this i wanted to rock some worlds. Basically i hung out with both of them and he ignored his new boyfriend and couldn't keep his hands off me. He left again and it killed me again. Just that few hours with him changed everything. I kinda lost track again. Cried my eyes out. That was January of 2010. He moved back for about a month, I fell in love with him all over again. We spent every minute together, got matching tattoos and hooked up. I had brought up my feelings again and he told me that he was going back till sept and that I needed to get over the feelings, and this was like June. Anyway sept came around and he flew me up to see him. I spent a week with him, before we came back home. He wasn't going anywhere this time he was permanently moving back. So here it is december. And we've been inseparable since we got back, he told me that he doesn't know what's gonna happen in the future. He throws around life plans with "we" attached to it, like its nothing. It's all messing with my mind. basically this entire time has been nothing but mixed signals and ive done a lot of crying. I just want to know what's going on here. Because we used to be amazing now we just kinda ride around silent almost like were obligated to hang out or something. We've always had great chemistry and we are perfect for each other. People just assume were a couple and it hurts when I have to tell them I'm waiting on him to get over the guy that hurt him when he moved away. I don't know. I just can't seem to walk away. There is something holding me to him. Like i know that one day this will all pay off and he'll love me but i can't wait forever. I love him like no other. He is my world. I know that what we have is great, were amazing, i can't even picture spending time with anyone else. Just he says he wants to keep it just friends right Noe, and the lines are so blurry because he makes it that way. I have no idea where we stand. I feel like there's boundaries for every conversation we have, everything we do. The Friendship that we have has come to the point where it needs to go from just a friendship to a relationship or we need to go separate ways. Where do i go from here? its been over a year and i have yet to get a confirmation on these feelings that are so apparent. The last step is to go all in, no holds barred. It would be great if we did that, and it would work. Its almost guaranteed that its gonna work, there's a risk but I'm willing to try. How do i get him to that point? Because this relationship tension is ruining our friendship.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 I always get a bit suspicious when two people are seeing a lot of each other, everything going great, but one of them won't commit fully, won't give the 100 percent that's expected. I wonder if he's not cut all ties with the other friend and he's waiting to see what's going to happen there. If you are ready for the ultimatum then now you have nothing to lose. You must put him on the spot and let him know what it is you want and how you feel and ask him the same.
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